


Three Cheers for Tyranny

by rc0ncan



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bottom Gerard Way, Ferard, Frerard, High School, M/M, Top Frank Iero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 34,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23180101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rc0ncan/pseuds/rc0ncan
Summary: This is my very first fic so prepare to cringe for dayzzzzGerard and Frank have the perfect love/hate relationship. They both hate each other, but love each other's bodies. Gerard being out as gay and Frank being closeted as bisexual they knew their physical chemistry was a perfect match. But being from different cliques in high school leaves 18 year old Gerard and 17 year old Frank meant-to-be enemies.But years later, when they are thrust back into each other's lives by a tragic event, will they discover a love they never knew they held, or are they destined to be enemies ever after?Triggers: cursing, talks of drug use, smut, derogatory names and terms, homophobia
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

Gerard sat staring off into space. He hated math and was only slightly embarrassed that his little brother Mikey and his good friend Ray had to tutor him just to pass. Being a senior with a scholarship to SVA guaranteed, he was able to pack his schedule with a lot of art classes. But he avoided math and now he was paying the price for it by taking it in his spring semester before graduation. It was one of those "you need this credit to pass" situations and normally he would be nervous and overly stressed but he felt confident in his ability to slump his way to at least a C. 

He started chewing lightly on the end of his pencil as his thoughts traveled to the past eight months. They were some of the best. He got the news from his dream college, he had overcome his confidence issues and had actually turned out into a pretty well liked kid in school. Long gone were the days of the chubby emo who hid in the east halls to sketch. He was also getting laid fairly regularly and as an 18 year old boy, that was his proudest accomplishment. The only problem was he couldn't tell anybody about it. Not his brother or even his very best friend Lindsey. They loved Gerard but they wouldn't understand this. They would read the situation wrong.

Gerard felt a small twitch in his pants when his thoughts inevitably led to the short, pierced, tattooed football player that he longed to touch. _Frank_. Just his name alone set fire to Gerard's skin. He and Frank had the perfect plan figured out. They hated each other. High school hierarchy dictated that and small minded youths made it worse. Gerard was an art geek. An out loud and proud one. And it made the taunts from Frank and his friends so easy. But Frank was questioning his own sexuality after he ended his relationship with Jamia and he noticed Gerard. Namely his body. Gerard had shaggy black hair and piercing hazel eyes. His skin was pale and he ached to rub his calloused hands over it because he just knew it was smooth. His body was perfect; he was tall and had thicker thighs that honestly drove Frank crazy. And his tight jeans that left very little to the imagination literally made Frank drool. Gerard was the reason Frank questioned his sexuality.

And Gerard always thought Frank was attractive. Outside his jerky remarks, he was short with olive skin and toned arms and stomach. He had a few hidden tattoos that Gerard absolutely loved. Gerard would occasionally sit in the stands during football practice with a sketch book in his lap but he definitely wasn't sketching. It was a decoy to watch Frank. Honestly if things were different maybe Gerard would ask him out. Maybe if Frank wasn't a total ass all the time. But that was a big maybe.

Their arrangement started three months prior, one night at a house party at Ray Toro's house. Ray was that guy that was friends with everybody. He took music courses with Mikey, took art with Gerard and played football with Frank. So it was natural that when he threw a party nearly the entire school showed up. Gerard lost track of time painting and got to the party at almost 11p where most people were already pretty drunk. He made his way into Ray's kitchen where he found Frank standing alone staring out the window into the darkness. As he turned to leave, wanting to avoid the inevitable snarky remark from Frank, he accidentally knocked an empty beer bottle off the counter, sending it crashing to the floor making them both jump.

"Shit" Gerard muttered as he bent down to pick up the bottle. Luckily it wasn't broken.

"For fucks sake, Gerard, you can't do anything without some big production can you?" Frank groaned.

"I knocked a bottle off the counter, dipshit, I didn't come running in naked and screaming" Gerard retorted.

"That probably would have gone down better" Frank found himself muttering. He probably thought he said it too low to be heard but Gerard definitely heard it and definitely didn't know how to respond. So he just placed the bottle on the counter and walked out.

About an hour had passed and Gerard was feeling buzzed. He wasn't a big partier but school was almost over and what was wrong with getting drunk with some of these fuck heads that tormented him growing up. He watched jocks Brendon and Bob going at it in an intense game of beer pong, Mikey was in the living room dancing with some girl, and Ray was being a good host and mingling. It was moments like this that Gerard hated his lack of friends. Well he had Lindsey but she didn't want to come tonight, saying something about studying for a test. Gerard told her she was lame and that he didn't buy that excuse but he knew the truth. Gerard was bullied for years but Lindsey was bullied by the girls 100x worse. He didn't want to guilt her into coming out.

Gerard had found a nice spot against the wall to watch the party play out while nursing his third beer when a slurred voice from next to him nearly made him jump.

"I didn't think you were much of a wallflower, princess". He turned to see Frank stumbling in with glassy eyes and a crooked smirk.

"Guess you looking at dudes asses all day in football tunnels your vision" Gerard shot back as he put his hands on his hips and turned to face Frank directly. Frank's smirk visibly fell at that statement and Gerard's grew. That was until Frank started swaying and nearly fell back on his ass. Gerard would love to laugh at him and leave him but the goodness in him wouldn't let him just leave.

"Woah" Frank said surprisingly. "I think I am a little drunk".

Gerard scoffed and grabbed Frank by his arm to steady him. "Come on you clumsy fuck, before you fall and crack your head open, making yourself even dumber than you already are".

Gerard waited for a witty retort and he was a little disappointed when Frank stayed silent. Gerard started leading him to the upstairs where he knew several spare rooms were. He figured he would put Frank to bed then go home and crash himself, but the moment he dragged Frank into the room, Frank seemed to regain some of his balance back, as he slammed the door shut and pulled Gerard's arm back towards him and throwing him up against the door. Gerard didn't have much time to react before Frank was pushing him further into the wood trying to get as close to him as possible.

"You know you drive me fucking crazy" Frank said barely above a whisper. "Your a stupid artsy fag but fuck your body is incredible" he added as he ran his hands over every part of Gerard that he could. Granted Gerard wasn't in the clearest state of mind. He should have pushed Frank off, he definitely shouldn't have leaned down and attached their lips in a messy kiss as their tongues fought for dominance. He also shouldn't have let Frank drag him back towards the queen size bed as he peeled off his clothes like they were on fire. Gerard was drunk, and hadn't had sex since he and his ex Bert had broken up back in September when he moved away. His drunk, orgasm deprived body was in complete control and it wanted one thing: Frank.

He didn't remember much about that night. He remembered screaming out Frank's name as he was slammed into from behind. He remembered his orgasm was so strong he was shaking for nearly ten minutes afterward. But everything else was a blur. A blur that came to crystal clear clarity first thing the next morning when he realized where he was and who was there with him. Gerard decided it was best to leave and pretend nothing ever happened and hoped Frank didn't remember, which was a solid plan until Frank woke up as he was slipping on his jeans.

"Why the fuck are you pantsless in my room, idiot?" He said in a raspy, clearly hung over tone.

"Says the one who is stark naked" Gerard replied as he quickly buttoned his jeans and grabbed for his shoes.

It took Frank longer than normal to put all the pieces together and when he did, he expressed his feelings with a very audible 'FUCK' followed by a wince from the loud noise disturbing his throbbing head. Gerard decided not to wait for anything else and took off closing the door softly behind him. He listened out for any noises and when he heard none he started heading to the the kitchen and ultimately the back door.

Ray was perched at his kitchen table, nearly scaring Gerard half to death.

"Hey Gee! I didn't know you slept here last night" he said with a mouth full of toast.

"Yeah, dude sorry about that. I just had a lot to drink and figured it was safer to crash here, hope you don't mind"

"I'm just messing with you" Ray said with a large toothy smile. "You're always welcome here. Pretty sure my parents like you more than they like me most days" he joked. "Want some breakfast?"

"No thanks, I should really get home my mom is probably freaking out" Gerard thought up on the spot. He knew his mom was gone but he needed to leave before Frank came down and made a scene. 

"Alright, well later man, see you tomorrow" and with that Gerard bolted out the back door and started his short walk home.

The rest of the day, Gerard found himself in an aggravated and anxiety ridden state. Who did Frank tell? Would he be beaten up now? Called a whore or a slut because he seduced the "straight" jock? He knew from jump street that Frank wasn't 100% straight. But Frank was so far in the closet he was still finding Christmas presents so he knew knocks about his potential sexuality really bothered him. It was a low blow that Gerard tried to avoid. If he was going to tease Frank, he wanted it to be worth it.

As Gerard walked into school the next day, nothing had changed. It was extremely anticlimactic but Gerard was grateful. He worked hard to keep his reputation where it was and he didn't want to lose it for some cheap fuck. As the day went by, the more relaxed he became, until just before his last class of the day, his arm was forcefully grabbed and he was shoved into a nearby boy's bathroom by an extremely irritated looking Frank. Gerard figured this was the perfect time to poke fun at him seeing as they were alone.

"Hey sweetie" he said sweetly, "you never called me yesterday". Frank's jaw visibly tightened and he stared daggers into Gerard's eyes. "Oh I get it. I'm just a prom night hook up and in nine months when I tell you you're the father you're going to act like you don't know me" Gerard said with a sarcastic smirk.

"Just shut the fuck up" Frank said through gritted teeth.

"You didn't say that Saturday night" Gerard added, his smirk widening. Frank visibly rolled his eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you about that" Frank spoke, trying everything in his power to not snap. He took a deep breath and loosened his grip on the front of Gerard's shirt. "I-" he paused. "I don't know what I am. I'm definitely not gay but Saturday night was ... probably the best hook up I've ever had".

Gerard was stunned. He definitely didn't expect that to come out of Frank's mouth.

"I don't want to date you" Frank added, "but I want to be ... _friends with benefits_ ". He gagged a little like that was a horrible thought.

"To be friends with benefits I think you have to start as friends" Gerard said. "And I definitely don't want to be friends with you and the Neanderthals" he added while he crossed his arms, breaking Frank's connection to his shirt.

"But think about it" Frank remarked. "It would be our secret. You're leaving for college in a few months and I'll be leaving for college next year. How is this not perfect? No emotions, no connections, just sex?"

Normally Gerard would think long and hard about something like this. Really, wasn't this Frank's way of using his body? An easy fuck? But it was Gerard's opportunity to use Frank's body as well. Nobody would believe them anyway if either of them tried talking.

Gerard was suddenly ripped from his reverie and thoughts of Frank by a hard kick to the bottom of his chair. He didn't have to turn to know who was behind the kick, but he loved messing with the football players almost as much as he loved creating art.

Gerard turned around and was met with the smirk of Brendon Urie, the ridiculously tall and attractive quarterback who loved to pick on Mikey the most. Gerard smiled wide as he said in his most seductive voice "Hey baby. Blow jobs are $250 but I'll give you a discount since I know you're a little lacking in that department".

Brendon's smirk lowered into a scowl and he leaned forward to growl "you're going to pay for that, Way" as he got up to move. It took everything in his body for Gerard to not burst into laughter at that. Once he settled down he realized he was half hard and he groaned. Thinking about that first time with Frank always wound him up and fuck he should know better than to do that.

Class let out in five minutes and he knew Frank's next class was a free period. Gerard had a ceramics course that he could skip. He reached into his backpack and unlocked his phone to find Frank's number. He never saved it to his phone, in case Lindsay or Mikey saw a text come through and they only ever uttered one phrase. One phrase that told the other what they wanted and needed. They never shared a location through text but any time one of them needed to get off it was always done in a small storage shed near the football fields or at one of their houses, depending on the time and day. Donna Way was rarely home and Mikey had a new girlfriend to woo so that left a large empty house unused. Or they would sneak off to Frank's if Linda was out.

Frank was dozing off in his history lesson when his pocket vibrated. After fishing out his phone, he smirked when he read the message. It was one word but it made his dick twitch to life in his pants and suddenly this class wouldn't end fast enough.

The moment the bell rang, Frank all but sprinted from the room, heaving his backpack over his shoulder as he headed towards the football field, looking down again at the text from Gerard that read a simple _SOS_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning. It’s awkward but enjoy it anyway :)

Gerard practically jogged to the outside shed. With a school this size, kids ditched all the time and he almost always went unnoticed. The moment he stepped into the little space, the door was kicked shut behind him and he was nearly thrown against it. Fuck, Frank has a thing for manhandling him but Gerard loved it. For some reason whenever Frank and Gerard were fucking, Frank's confidence and dominance multiplied exponentially while Gerard's diminished and he took on a very submissive role. For Gerard, being able to let go and give control up of himself was the most amazing feeling.

Just as quickly as Gerard was thrown against the door, Frank's mouth was suckling at his neck, quickly finding a sensitive spot that made Gerard's knees buckle. "Oh god" Gerard moaned as he tilted his head to give Frank more access to his neck. Access that Frank greedily took.

"Look at you, little whore" Frank spoke in a breathy whisper in Gerard's ear. "Can't even make it to the end of the day. Have to let me take you here and now". Frank's had slid up the outside of Gerard's thigh, up his side and into his hair, grabbing tightly and turning Gerard's face so they could look in each other's eyes.It was a look for approval. Frank did this every time before one of their "meetings". It was one of the few things Gerard actually liked about the guy, because he knew if he stopped them there and now, Frank would stop. Little midget had a bit of a honorable streak in him. When Gerard threw him back the best fuck me eyes he could muster, Frank smirked.

"On your knees, slut" Frank tutted, pulling on Gerard's black strands. Gerard dropped to his knees instantly, his hands running themselves up and down Frank's thighs while he waited. He luckily didn't have to wait long, as Frank's girthy length was pulled from his boxers. Keeping eye contact, Gerard leaned forward and kitty licked the head a few times before Frank was tugging on his strands again.

"Don't fucking tease me" he growled, and Gerard shivered in response. He wasted no more time and took Frank in one go down the back of his throat. Gerard learned very quickly what Frank liked, and he smiled slightly when he started wiggling his tongue on the underside of Frank's shaft, omitting a choked off moan from the man above him.

Frank let him go at it for a few more minutes before the familiar fire ignited in his belly signaling him if this went on too much longer it would be over. Gerard groaned as Frank took a hold of his tresses once again as he pulled Gerard off his dick and standing back up where Frank left a searing kiss on his lips. Normally Gerard didn't like the kissing, he felt it was too intimate for this friends with benefits thing, but he was honestly too turned on right now to care.

Shoving Gerard up against the door once again, Frank unbuttoned his ungodly tight jeans and pushed them all the way down. Gerard kicked them and his boxers off, leaving his bottom half completely exposed to Frank's hungry eyes. Frank pushed him back against the door again and Gerard took his queue to wrap his thick thighs around Frank's hips.

"Fuck, baby" Frank groaned as he left bites and marks across Gerard's collar bone, causing the latter to whine.

"Please don't tease me Frank" Gerard moaned, which caused Frank to lift his head, locking his darkened eyes with Gerard's lust filled ones.

"You seem to forget that you don't make the rules here, sweetheart" Frank growled and lined himself up with Gerard's entrance. Just when Gerard was about to complain, Frank's hips snapped forward, sheathing himself in Gerard's tight heat all in one go. The unexpected reaction caused Gerard to scream out, and while it did hurt a bit, Gerard had a thing for pain.

Frank gave him only a moment before he started up a merciless pace, tilting and angling his hips until one of his thrusts caused Gerard to let out a long whorish moan. "Oh there we go" Frank said with a heavy tone, and aimed every thrust at that spot, Causing Gerard's moans to get higher and longer.

Gerard wanted this to last longer, he really did. But Frank was hitting his prostate with surprising ease and the grunts coming out of his mouth and into Gerard's ears were way too hot.

"F-f-fuck, Frank" he whined, but Frank knew exactly what that meant. Reaching between their bodies, he grabbed Gerard's member tightly, causing him to arch his back so gracefully. Frank's hand and hips moved at the same speed and the pressure in Gerard's stomach was reaching its all time high. With one last long scream, Gerard came hard between them. The tightening of his hole threw Frank over the edge right behind him. He stilled as he coated Gerard's insides with his seed, slowly rolling down from his beautiful, sweet release.

After they both came down from their highs, Frank gently released Gerard's legs from their vice grip around his body, and helped him stand up. Gerard's legs shook like jelly but they always did after their time together. Frank reached down and pulled his pants up as Gerard stumbled slowly to the balled up pair of jeans in the corner of the small shed.They said nothing to each other. They didn't need to. And besides, what do you say to your enemy who you just fucked? Thanks? That sounded weird, even for them.

Once both men were dressed and presentable, they locked eyes again. This was the ceremonial end to their friendliness and signaled hostility to resume. "Later fag" Frank snickered as he walked out of the shed. Gerard waited a few minutes before he walked out too, too tired and spent for a witty retort this time.

———————————————————————————

Gerard was much calmer the rest of the day. Something about an amazing orgasm would do that to a person. He gently shoved his books in his locker, free for the night when someone was pushed into the lockers next to him, hard. He glanced over to see Mikey's pained face as Brenden, Bob and Andy snickered. Gerard slammed the locker shut and turned around, staring them down with his hands on his hips.

"I know you like my brothers tight ass and all, but he has a girlfriend who even though she is a girl probably still has a bigger dick than you" Gerard scoffed. Mikey's face went beat red. He hated the guys picking on him but somehow Gerard made it worse. For some reason a stomach ache from a punch was easier to swallow than some of Gerard's comebacks.

All three jocks looked amongst each other, trying to to decide if they heard right. Gerard crosses his arms and stood his ground.

"You got a lot of nerve, Way. We aren't all dick suckers like you" Andy said, offended.

"Are you sure about that?" Gerard smirked. "Because I know you didn't end up on the varsity football team because of your talent".

Andy's jaw dropped in shock and Brendon was about to make a move for Mikey again when Frank's booming voice stopped everyone in their tracks.

"Hey" he called out. "Leave him alone" Frank motioned towards Mikey. "He's just a kid". Gerard was internally grateful. Frank always seemed to stand up for Mikey. Being a tall scrawny kid with glasses and a gay brother made him a major target but for some reason most people avoided Mikey. Mikey told Gerard that Frank was in music with him and his best friend Pete and he was actually an alright dude. Gerard always laughed at the thought of frank being 'alright'. He wasn't alright. He was an ass. His dick was alright, but not his personality. And Gerard couldn't argue that. But he would never speak that out loud.

Gerard turned back around to open his locker and grab his bag when a hand smacked his ass hard. He turned around to see Bob with a wide smile. "Oh sorry sweetie, I just see a fine ass and smack it. Throw some tits on you, and you'd be a real looker". Something in Gerard snapped and he couldn't remember what happened next but suddenly Bob was on the floor with blood spewing out of his nose and Gerard's right fist was throbbing.

"Holy shit Gee, you slugged him hard!" Mikey said in a shocked tone. With that, Gerard slung his bag over his shoulder and sashayed towards the exit, with Mikey trailing behind, frantically texting away. Probably Pete. If Mikey didn't have a girlfriend, Gerard would totally think they had a thing. Gerard shipped petekey hard. But whatever made his baby brother happy. They had the conversation once after Gerard came out to him and their mom and while Mikey said he didn't think he was fully straight, he didn't know what he was. And Gerard never wanted to push. They climbed into Gerard's white Chevy impala and headed towards home.

———————————————————————————

It was a few hours later while Gerard was at work that a familiar musk hit his nose. Gerard loves art and playing mind games with the jocks, but his coffee addition took the cake. It was only natural that he get a job at the local coffee house. He didn't need the money. Mom made more than enough, but he always got a free cup during his shift, and he loved the feeling of accomplishment after each pay day. He was filling napkin canisters when he whipped around quickly to see a familiar short man behind the counter, eyeing the menu with great intensity.

"F-Frank?" Gerard sputtered, causing Frank's gaze to snap away from the menu and at the raven haired boy in front of him. Something flashed across Frank's eyes and Gerard couldn't tell what it was exactly, but as quick as it appeared it was gone and a scowl washed over Frank's features.

"Gerard" he grumbled. "You know, I should kick your ass. Your little stunt this afternoon caused Bob to break his nose and now my best lineman is out of commission for weeks!"

"It wasn't a little stunt, clearly" Gerard smirked as he remembered watching blood pour out all over the ground. "But he deserved it. You can't just go around putting your hands on people".

"You think you're just the greatest thing that walks those halls but you aren't" Frank spat.

"Awe, what, you aren't going to let me fuck you in the back seat of my car now?" Gerard said in a sickly sweet tone. He felt proud when a slight blush creeped up Frank's cheeks. "Enough with this bullshit, what can I get you fuck face".

"Does your manager let you talk to people like that dick head?" Frank asked. Gerard just smiled and glanced down at his name tag that read 'Gerard - Manager'.

"I would take that as a solid yes, sweetie" Gerard laughed.

Frank scowled again but let it go, his football practice taking too much energy out of him. "Coffee. Black. Like your soul".

Gerard rolled his eyes but grabbed a cup, filling it up exactly how Frank described. There was no more words exchanged between the two while Frank paid. He decided to settle down in a booth seat near the window and Gerard thought it was odd. People didn't normally stay but Frank did, idly flipping through his phone like he was bored. It wasn't until right before closing that he left, leaving a piece of paper on the table.

"Dick" Gerard mumbled under his breath. Only Frank would make Gerard have to stay a few minutes late just to clean up his mess. But when he got to the table he was surprised. It wasn't a receipt or anything, it was a $5 bill. He blinked trying to will it to change to anything else because why would Frank leave a tip. He never tipped Gerard while he was sucking dick. And that he put effort into. But this was just coffee. Coffee that literally a $19 coffee pot could make with equal results. He picked it up and stuck it in the tip jar anyway. He could share it with Billie Joe when they closed the till and split the day's tips.

The rest of the night went without incident and Gerard found himself in bed later, thinking. Thinking about their school yard shack tryst. Frank's tip. Bobs nose. That caused Gerard to smile again. His eyes slowly closed with one last thought in his brain: only three weeks left in that hellhole.


	3. Chapter 3

The next week went by pretty uneventful. It was all final exams, and prepping for graduation. Unfortunately that meant very little time fucking Frank. They couldn't make the schedule work to sneak off into the shed and Mikey and his girlfriend were on a "break" which meant he was home a lot more now, and usually with company.

Gerard didn't mind Mikey's friends, they were cool. It just made it that much harder for him to get laid and that wasn't cool. So he used that time to work on his final art piece. Mrs. Richardson, his art teacher, has begged him to make her a piece all year. When she heard he was going to SVA after high school, she had a feeling he was going to become a famous artist one day and she wanted a piece to show off to students for years to come.

Gerard had no clue what he was making when he started, but after several hours, it started to come together. The left side of the canvas was smeared with red and orange and yellow. The right side with blue, green and purple and the colors met in the middle in a swirling marriage of colors and tones. Gerard felt like it was a good versus evil piece and he liked it.

By the end of the week, the piece was dry enough to bring in to school and of course Mrs. Richardson loved it. "Can I hang it in the halls for senior week?" She begged and Gerard just shrugged. No one would probably appreciate it much more than she would but whatever.

As Gerard walked out of her class and towards his locker to pack up and head home, he noticed a boisterous eruption of laughter. From the corner of his eye he saw the jocks huddled around Principle Brown's office. They basically walked on water because Principle Brown was a football coach and very rarely did any of those idiot players get penalized for much of anything.

As he kept walking, Gerard caught sight of Frank, with a big smile on his face. He must have been the one to tell whatever joke or anecdote that caused them all to laugh. Gerard's stomach knotted up a little and he didn't understand why. It was almost as if he missed Frank that week. Sure his dick certainly missed him but the long dry week without sex also meant very little teasing between the two could ensue. And Gerard supposed he missed that too.

But he definitely wasn't in the mood for it now as he silently slipped around the group, hoping to go unnoticed. Normally he would barge right through yelling "what's up fuckers" just to get their goat. But not today. He was tired and cranky.

"Hey Gee" the soft voice of Ray floated over. "Wanna grab a coffee?" Gerard smiled. He always felt like a shitty friend because Ray always really tried and Gerard only sometimes tried. But he did appreciate Ray. He was one of the few guys that didn't treat Gerard like a disease after he came out.

"You know damn well I'm always down for coffee" Gerard said with a smile.

"Great! I'll meet you there in 30" Ray said excitedly as he turned towards the direction of his locker. At least Gerard didn't have to work tonight but maybe he could swing a discounted cup or something. Gerard shoved his books and bag in his locker, grabbed his keys and made his way towards his car, silently applauding that he had successfully gone unnoticed by the group of homophobic assholes.

Gerard used to live for those moments. He wanted to be invisible. Being invisible meant you didn't get asked to awkward social situations and you weren't supposed to be bullied either. But the summer after junior year, Gerard lost quite a bit of weight and somehow found this new voice of confidence. Suddenly people at school noticed him and when he came out as being gay and said that it wasn't a big deal, his fan base grew even bigger, but so did his enemies list. The bullying turned more to taunting words then physical hits which Gerard was thankful for. Words he could handle, fists he couldn't. It was almost like those cavemen thought if they touched Gerard they would catch "the gay". It made Gerard laugh but he also didn't dispel that thought either because he didn't want to resume being hit again.

Ray sat confidently at a small wooden table with a cup of coffee and a lot of creamer in front of him. He smiled widely when he watched Gerard climb out of his car and walk in, eyeing the room until he found Ray. "Hey buddy" he said as he walked towards the counter to order his own coffee. Since he took his black just like Frank did, it didn't take long and he was sitting across his friend, sipping the molten-hot coffee that burned his mouth but touched his soul.

"Any plans for the summer?" Ray asked.

"I have to build and assemble my portfolio for school. Art school is no joke" Gerard giggled. "What about you?"

"My parents and I are going down to Florida for a month or so. Spend some time with my grandparents."

"Florida" Gerard started. "Isn't that where that cute girl you told me about is from?" Ray blushed. He had a small Grease-like summer romance with a girl named Christa.

"Maybe" Ray mumbled trying to be nonchalant.

"Dude don't be fucking embarrassed" Gerard said laughing and pushing Ray's shoulder gently. "You've got someone out there who actually has feelings for you. That's awesome".

"So what about you?" Ray asked, desperate to shift the attention away from his potential love interest. "Any dudes catching your eye?" Gerard had a brief moment of panic because yes someone did. But not in the way Ray would understand.

"Nah" He said, composing himself. "Belleville definitely is lacking in the hot guy department" Gerard shrugged.

Ray took a moment to scan Gerard's face before exclaiming "bullshit!"

"What?" Gerard said looking panicked again.

"You're full of shit. There is somebody and you better spill the beans right now!" Ray said excitedly as he scooted his chair to be more next to Gerard. Gerard rolled his eyes.

"What the fuck are we, thirteen year old girls? I'm not saying nothing. I mean - there isn't anything to say"

"Uh huh" Ray said clearly not believing Gerard in the slightest. "Just tell me this, do you love this mystery guy?"

"WHAT?!" Gerard squeaked. "No not at all ... I mean there is no guy, I - fuck" he said putting his head in his hands, defeated.

Ray could tell his friend was getting worked up. "Hey listen, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I'm just happy for you. I want you to be happy" he said, putting his hand on his shoulder.

Gerard smiled gently. "I am happy. It's just sex. No love. No commitment. Just dudes being horny dudes".

Ray laughed at that. When he settled down he looked at Gerard again. "Can I ask one mildly prodding question?"

Gerard peered at him for a moment trying to decide if he should let Ray wriggle into his personal business like that. But he shrugged. "Sure" He said, followed by another sip of coffee.

"You don't have to say a name or anything, but do I know him?" Ray inquired.

Gerard thought for a moment. He obviously couldn't lie because Ray was apparently a fucking walking lie detector. That or Gerard was just a terrible liar. Maybe a little of both. After a deep breath, he just left it at a simple "yes". Lucky for him, Ray left it alone, almost like they never even talked about it, instead moving on to summer plans and college hopes.

——————————————————————————

On his drive home his phone went off, the screen lighting up with Lindsey's picture. "Hey Linz" Gerard said.

"Gee? What the fuck where are you?" Lindsey all but yelled at the other end.

"What are you talking about?" Gerard said, looking back down at his screen, like it would tell him whatever thing he was supposed to know.

"The movie starts in twenty fucking minutes! Please don't tell me you forgot"

"Oh fuck" Gerard grumbled. He promised Lindsey they would go see Avengers End Game tonight.

"Alright I'm coming now" he said, pulling into a random driveway so he could turn around and head toward the cinema.

"You forgot?! Gee what were you doing?" Lindsey demanded.

"I'm sorry, I was grabbing coffee with Ray. He leaves for Florida soon and I might not get to see him before that". Lindsey liked Ray. Hell everybody liked Ray so Gerard knew that Lindsey wouldn't be as mad.

"Well just get the fuck here soon" and with that she hung up.

———————————————————————————

The cinema was packed with high school kids on a Friday night. Mostly couples. Gerard and Lindsey were ushered towards the middle of the theatre, seated behind the infamous Frank and Bob. Gerard just couldn't pass up this beautiful opportunity while he waited for the movie to start.

"Excuse me sir," he said in Bob's direction, "you really shouldn't have brought your young son into a movie like this".

Both Bob and Frank turned around with pretty angry faces and Gerard mentally put a tally mark under his name for that comment.

"Way!" Bob nearly shouted.

"Hey Bobby" Gerard said sweetly. "I should charge you for that nose job I did for you but unfortunately you're still ugly, so don't blame me, blame God for that.

Bob just flipped him off before it was Frank's turn. "It's so sweet you guys are here on a date" he started while motioning between Gerard and Lindsey. "Hey Linz, I didn't know you had a dick but good for you."

Lindsey just shrugged it off. "It's ok Frank, you don't need to get short with me" causing Gerard to erupt with laughter and Frank to scowl. He was about to respond when he was cut off by a familiarly shrill voice.

"Hi Frankie" Jamia, his ex purred as she leaned over one of the seats in front of Frank to get a little closer.

"Hey Jamia" Frank said, sounding bored. "Looking pretty skanky today".

"Well I gotta keep my man happy you know" Jamia replies while flipping her black hair over her shoulder and motioning to her new boyfriend. Gerard didn't know him well but he was pretty sure his name was Kellin and he was pretty sure he was in the druggie crowd.

Frank scoffed. "That isn't a man" he stated simply. "He's a walking dildo that is higher than hell and probably doesn't even know you're name". Jamia scoffed and walked away. She did everything she could to make Frank jealous but it just annoyed him. Frank ended the relationship and she didn't take the break up well.

"Well that was a touching moment" Gerard interjected. There was just something about angry Frank that was hilarious. And hot.

"Just leave it alone, Gee" Frank snarled as he turned back around, sinking into his seat. Gerard was taken aback and couldn't even comprehend a response. Frank not only asked Gerard to leave him alone without a smart ass comment, but he called him Gee. Literally the only people that called him Gee was his mom, Mikey, Lindsey and Ray.

The lights were just starting to dim and the previews were playing when Gerard decided to take one more swipe. "Don't forget to put your arm around his shoulder Bob, cuddle that cute little fuck if he gets scared" which resulted in two middle fingers, one from each man in front of him Gerard chuckled. He sat back to enjoy this movie that people would NOT stop talking about. 

———————————————————————————

The movie was good, and they were able to leave the cinema without incident. Lindsey tried to talk Gerard into grabbing dinner but he was exhausted. The whole ride home Lindsey gushed about Jamia. Fuck she was crushing hard. Gerard didn't get it. Jamia wasn't overly pretty or nice. She tormented Lindsey for years and yet she still held a flame for her. Also Jamia only dates guys while Lindsey was more towards girls. But Gerard never brought that up, he just listened to Lindsey go on and on about Jamia's pretty smile or cute little ass or boobs that were probably awesome, he assumed. By the time they got to Lindsey's house, Gerard practically shoved her out of the car. He liked dick. He didn't want to hear about boobs.

The drive back to his house was only about ten minutes and he was just about there when his phone lit up from the phone number he had practically memorized. SOS it read. Gerard sighed. Yes he was tired as fuck but he also hadn't been laid in a week and he would definitely trade sleep for a night for Frank pounding him into his mattress.

As he pulled in, he prayed with everything he had that Mikey wasn't home. Or at the very least was asleep. The house was dark when he walked in, which was a good sign but as he made his way upstairs, he heard the distinctive sound of a Fortnite battle coming from Mikey's room, as well as swear words. Gerard opened the door to find Mikey sitting in the dark, on his bed with his headset on and Xbox lit up and he was being shot at.

"Hey Mikes" He said.

"Sup Gee" Mikey replied without even glancing over at his older brother in the doorway.

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm home."

"How was the movie?" Mikey asked but the tone told Gerard he didn't care much. He probably didn't even remember what movie he went to see.

"It was really good. Really packed though." Gerard said.

"Friday night movie, what do you expect- mother fucker!" Mikey yelled suddenly. Gerard looked at his TV screen to see that Mikey had been killed on his game.

"Yeah fuck You Wentz" he growled into his headset. "I'm gonna fuck you up when I see you next".

"Alright, ghetto Mikes, I'll see you later I'm going to bed" Gerard said chuckling.

"Night Gee - Yeah go fuck yourself Pete that wasn't fair". Mikey's trash talking faded as Gerard headed back down stairs and towards his basement bedroom. He took his phone out staring at Frank's message trying to figure out if they could fool around and stay quiet. Mikey was alone. And two levels above him. Fuck it he wanted it and if they got caught well he would figure that out later. Gerard replied meet me by the back door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sassy Gee is my spirit animal 💕


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut because I’m a garbage person. HEY-YO!

Gerard sat on the basement steps waiting for the almost silent rapping of the back door. Frank must have driven there at breakneck speed because Gerard felt like he was only sitting there for a moment before he heard it. Jumping up he opened the door, internally thankful he thought to oil the hinges recently so it wouldn't squeak.

"Mikey is upstairs so we have to be quiet" Gerard whispered as he stood in the doorway preventing Frank from entering.

"Take your own advice, princess, I'm not the one that sounds like a fucking porn star" Frank shot back. He was clearly annoyed which meant angry sex. Angry rough sex was Gerard's favorite. He grabbed Frank's shirt and yanked him inside quickly, nearly causing the latter to fall but he caught himself as they made their way down the steps and to Gerard's bedroom door.

Frank took Gerard's warning seriously though and instead of pinning him up against the door or wall, he pulled him in close to his body, using his left hand to wrap around the small of his back, keeping him in place. Frank's right hand came up and grabbed the sides of Gerard's cheeks, causing his lips to pucker out.

"You think that little fucking stunt at the movies is something I would be able to let slide? Absolutely not, whore. You're going to pay for that" Frank growled lowly. He pulled Gerard down until he was laying on the carpet on his back with Frank straddling his hips.

Frank took his belt off quickly and grabbed both of Gerard's wrists, binding them together tightly and threading the belt through the leg of one of the bed posts. This successfully trapped Gerard's hands above his head so he couldn't touch himself, or better yet, Frank. Gerard enjoyed the quickie sessions in the shed, but here in his bedroom, they could take their time. Explore kinks they liked and didn't like. Apparently, Gerard loved being tied up and Frank loved edging Gerard until he was screaming and begging and almost crying. Tonight his plan was to make Gerard cry.

Once Frank felt confident that Gerard couldn't move, he slowly slid his hands down the front of his clothed chest, causing the older boy to tremble with anticipation. He knew what Frank was planning to do, but his stubborn ass was going to avoid caving for as long as humanly possible. He would crack though. Gerard always cracked.

Once Frank's hands reached the hem of his shirt, he slid his hands underneath, causing Gerard to jump slightly at the warm touch. Frank's hands made their way back up until he reached both Gerard's nipples, pinching and rubbing them until they were hard. Gerard began to mewl, letting his head drop back as he enjoyed the delicious assault on his body.

But Frank quickly grew tired of this. Gerard wasn't begging and that needed to change. Frank's hands roamed back down as he cupped the prominent bulge in the older boy's jeans. This caused Gerard to release a choked off gasp. Frank started running the heel of his hand roughly over Gerard's member feeling it quickly harden. The boy under him also started to moan a little more now.

"Sorry Gee" Frank drawled out. "These pants need to come off.

"Please" Gerard whispered. Frank felt a pang of pride rip through his chest. They had only been at this not five minutes yet and Gerard was already starting to show weakness.

With surprising ease, Frank was able to unbutton and start pulling those tight jeans down that Gerard insisted to wear. Frank never complained though. His dick and ass always looked fucking phenomenal. Once they were pulled all the way off and tossed to some unknown corner without a care, Frank's mouth started to water at the small wet spot on Gerard's dark blue boxers.

Using the tips of his calloused fingers, Frank lightly raked over Gerard's thighs and stomach, deliberately missing his throbbing member. Every time he did another pass over his hips and pelvis, he watched Gerard's dick twitch.

But again, Frank grew bored pretty quickly and all but ripped off the boxers.

"Remember this, Gee?" Frank asked in a thick heavy voice as he leaned forward, blowing warm air on the head of Gerard's dick, before kitty licking at the slit.

Gerard nearly jumped a foot. Frank rarely gave head and now Gerard knew he wasn't going to play fair.

"Oh god" Gerard groaned. "Put your mouth on me, please I need your mouth".

Frank smiled. "I like the begging Gee, I really do but it isn't enough. You want to come?" He asked in a sickly sweet voice. Gerard nodded frantically. "You gotta fucking earn it".

His words caused Gerard to groan again and if he wasn't so stubborn he would probably beg then and there but he wanted to fight this as long as possible. Just to be an ass, Frank decided to take Gerard down the back of his throat all in one go, causing his hips to cant upwards into Frank's hot mouth as a rather loud moan was ripped from his throat.

Frank than pulled off with an obscene pop, to look down at Gerard's face, pleading with Frank to continue.

"Maybe I'll just get myself off" Frank thought aloud to himself. He stood up and shoved his jeans and boxers down and kicked them off, straddling Gerard's thighs as he began to slowly pump his own member. "Maybe I'll just jack myself off until I come all over that pretty body of yours and just leave you here for Mikey to find. Or better yet, Lindsey". Gerard's panicked face made Frank smile. "What? You don't like that idea?"

Gerard was losing his ability to think straight because fuck Frank was on top of him stroking his cock and fuck it was so fucking hot. Frank stopped and leaned forward to suck on Gerard neck as he let their members brush together, causing the older boy to gasp again.

The room was practically on fire. Frank's lips found Gerard's sensitive spot quickly and feeling the soft touches to his dick were starting to be too much. Frank must have sensed he was shattering. He reached down to grab Gerard's dick and squeezed causing the latter to groan in frustration.

"Please Frank I cant - please" he moaned.

"Sounds so good Gerard but I know you can do better" Frank said with a smirk as he squeezed his dick again. Gerard let out a desperate sob and it only took another moment or two before Frank finally got what he wanted; a tear slid down Gerard's cheek.

"Much better" Frank groaned as he sat up, spreading Gerard's legs, while reaching out for the small bottle of lube that fell from his pocket. He slicked himself up and lined himself with Gerard's entrance. "Let me hear you baby." He whispered as he pushed in. Gerard welcomed the stretch and burn. The moment Frank's hips were flush with Gerard's ass, he begged him to move. The pain wasn't gone yet but he needed to come ASAP.

It only took a few thrusts before Frank found his prostate, causing Gerard to moan a lot louder than he intended. But Frank knew they needed to be quiet, so he slid his fingers around Gerard's beautiful pale neck and squeezed gently. It lowered Gerard's volume a bit but Frank could still appreciate his noises. Frank loved making Gerard scream and choke. And he hated that he couldn't do that tonight. The younger mans thrusts became quicker as the fire in his belly started. He was nearing his release but wanted Gerard to go over the edge first. Seeing Gerard come was easily the most erotic thing Frank every witnessed. Much better then crappy internet porn.

The hand that was around his neck made its way to Gerard's dick, as he started pumping in time with his thrusts.

"Oh fuck, Frank!" Gerard nearly screamed. "I'm gonna - I'm gonna come don't stop, please don't ever stop" he moaned out, not even realizing what he was saying.

"Come on then” Frank grunted. "Come all over yourself, make a fucking mess" and with that Gerard did. A scream that faded into a silent sob as he rode out his orgasm in Frank's hand.

The sight, along with the tightening was too much for Frank and he spilled inside the older man, panting and groaning.

After they both came down from their highs, Frank pulled out and crawled up Gerard's side to untie his wrists. He felt a little bad that there were pretty angry red marks on them that would most likely bruise, but only a little.

"Fuck" Gerard groaned, weakly crawling to his dresser in search of boxers and pajama pants. Frank never stayed so he stood up and started dressing himself. One Gerard was dressed, he flopped on the bed watching Frank pull on his jean jacket.

"Why the fuck do you keep calling me Gee" he finally asked, the question burning his mind all night. Frank just shrugged.

"I guess hearing it around I just sort of picked it up" he said nonchalantly. It was a good enough excuse for Gerard's tired, spent brain to accept.

"Anyway. This was probably the last time" Frank spoke. "Of us I mean".

"What?" Gerard squeaked as he sat up. He knew this day would come, but he thought he would deal with that in August, not fucking June.

"Well I'm leaving in a few days. For the summer. And I don't think we'll have time to meet up again. But we knew this day was coming" Frank replied.

"No, I know" Gerard began. "I just thought, you know, we would have the summer"

"So did I" He agreed, almost seeming a little agitated at the thought of not being able to fuck Gerard all summer. "But mom wants to go home and see her parents. And I'm apparently not trustworthy enough to stay home alone" Frank said while adding in air quotes and an eye roll.

Gerard giggled. "Well Linda is right about that".

Frank's only response was a middle finger in Gerard's direction, causing the older boy to giggle again.

Frank, fully dressed, walked over to where Gerard was perched on the bed.

"What now Frank, want a hug?" He asked sarcastically.

"No.." he blushed. "I was thinking a goodbye kiss. You know. As like a thank you, or whatever. For the last few months. They've been very insightful. For me. Myself I mean. Finding myself." Gerard couldn't help but find the whole stumbling over his words thing kind of cute.

"Kiss you? Isn't that kind of gay" Gerard challenged.

"Oh shut the fuck up" Frank snarled as he grabbed the front of Gerard's shirt and pulled him in for a searing kiss. It was full of so much: lust, envy, anger. And Gerard was almost certain there was a touch of love. Even appreciation.

After several moments, the pair finally pulled away, gasping for air. Frank stood back up and started walking toward the door. "Later Gerard. I'm would tell you not to become a whore in college but you won't listen anyway".

"Word of advice" Gerard shot back. “When you have a dick in your mouth, a sucking motion goes a long way instead of that pansy mouthing shit."

"Fuck you, artsy fag, go stick a paint brush in your prostate" Frank said as he opened the door and walked out.

"Go to hell, garden gnome, don't forget what yard you need to stand in tomorrow" Gerard called back. He laid back in bed and stared at the ceiling a little while. He couldn't help but feel pretty disappointed. He was getting laid regularly and now would have to go back to his hand. That thought sucked. But his tired eyes finally won and he fell into a restless slumber with images filled with Frank.


	5. Chapter 5

Sunday. Graduation day. Gerard didn't want to go, he could have honestly cared less. But Mom came home to watch him walk the stage. Like she achieved something herself or some shit. It was Gerard that worked hard and studied and got into the School of Visual Arts in NYC, not Mom. But at least she was supportive. She didn't kick Gerard out when he came out as gay. She didn't belittle him for his moderate obsession with comic books. She didn't laugh when he said he wanted to be an artist. Donna wanted her kids to shoot for the stars and enjoy their lives. After the boy's father died when they were young of a car accident, she never wanted to hinder them in any way. But being forced to go to graduation made Gerard hate his life currently.

As the lines of kids wrapped around the halls, Gerard stood staring off into space when a colorful square on the wall caught his attention. It was his painting, he couldn't believe Mrs. Richardson actually put it in the halls. Under it was a piece of white paper taped to the wall that read BY: GERARD WAY, SVA STUDENT.

Gerard blushed. He was very proud of getting into his dream school but he wasn't about to brag about it all around. He tried to be humble. Sometimes, anyway. Just then Principle Brown started calling out instructions and Gerard tore his gaze away to focus on the task at hand: walking across the stage and not falling.

Frank really didn't know why he needed to go to graduation. Sure, Principle Brown said to support the senior players moving on but Frank had better shit to do. His only goal was to have Principle Brown see him there, then he could sneak out the back and go home. It was a solid plan.

As the seniors were ushered in, he looked them over one by one, knowing nearly all of them. Lots of bitches he couldn't wait to get rid of. Lots of jealous dudes who didn't like Frank just because he was hot as fuck and an awesome football player. He thought so anyway. He smirked a little when he watched Jamia's boyfriend Kellin stumble on stage. Only he would show up to his own graduation high as hell. A few rows up he saw Jamia beaming up at him like she was so proud. He just rolled his eyes. Fake Jamia was out in full force today. She once told Frank she didn't even like Kellin but hoped it would make Frank jealous. It didn't. But her antics to make him jealous were annoying. If the bitch tried half as hard in their relationship as she does to make Frank jealous, maybe they would have lasted longer.

Bringing up the rear of the line was the last group of students, Gerard being one of them. He looked really uncomfortable and out of place with that huge robe on. It was a very different Gerard than the one Frank knew. He smirked at the thought of shy Gerard. Frank couldn't help but notice that the robe covered his amazing body. "What a damn shame" he mumbled under his breath. If he was going to be forced to watch this shit show he should be allowed at least a little eye candy.

The usual graduation ceremony commenced. Nerds got up and made speeches about how high school had been great to them and Frank had to physically restrain himself from laughing. The salutatorian was Patrick Stump, who Frank personally shoved into a locker at least once a week. Patrick was probably thrilled to leave this place, while Frank had one more year to rot away.

The only speech that really seemed to touch Frank was from the valedictorian, Ray. Of course it was Ray. He talked about late study nights, but amazing memories with almost every person in that room. His speech was was passionate and from the heart and Frank loved it.

After the speeches Principle Brown had decided to brag about the prestigious schools some of the students were going to. Ray was headed to Berkeley and Patrick to Princeton. It was the last person he mentioned that caught Frank by surprise.

"And our very own in-house artist, Gerard Way has accepted a full ride scholarship to the School of Visual Arts in New York City" And the room erupted into clapping while Gerard slumped in his seat and turned red. Frank would have normally laughed at Gerard's misery except he was still in shock. SVA was a great school and he had no clue Gerard was even an artist. Sure he had seen sketches and paintings in Gerard's room, but they never really sat down and talked to each other.

After that, the diplomas started being handed out and Frank figured that was more then enough school functions for one day. He got up and slipped out the side without being noticed in the slightest. Once in the halls he stopped to catch his breath. Something was making his stomach heavy with dread. Like he was missing something. Out of the corner of his eye, a brightly colored painting caught his eye. He walked over and was drawn into the pulls of orange and blue. It looked like a mix of two very different things, coming together to make something beautiful. He stared at it for a while, admiring the work. He usually hated art but this was one of those abstract pieces that he actually seemed to get. It was the bold print under it that caught his eye.

Gerard did this? Frank was astounded. Now the thought of him going to one of the greatest art schools in the country didn't seem so far fetched. This was incredible. Frank took out his phone and snapped a picture of the canvas. He never knew what he would need it for, but it was there. He shoved his hands in his pocket then and started off towards the parking lot.

Things were about to change and Frank knew it. He wasn't much a fan of change but he didn't have a choice in this matter. He wanted to redo this year again. Party with his friends, get Brendon so drunk he passes out in Ray's yard again. Spend more heated moments with Gerard. No one had cared much about Frank's body or desires before Gerard but Frank was certain someone would as he got older. He was too damn young to be tied down. As he fell asleep that night he thought about the rest of his life. It was a large white canvas and only he held the paint brush. He needed to make it great, and his last conscious thought was that he was going to do just that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Queue the Rocky Horror Picture Show's Time Warp song right now :) we’re heading to the future! BTW they now look like the DD era (red head Gee and long hair Frank)

~10 years later...~

Frank stood in the doorway and dropped his duffel bag to the floor. He looked around the dark basement room and let out a little chuckle. Mom left it exactly the way he left it when he went off to college. He looked around to room taking in the outdated posters of bands and bikini models that adorned his walls. The once white curtain covering the small egress window was faded and nearly yellow.

As he sat down on his bed a rash of memories came back to him. He remembered sitting in the middle of the room smoking pot with Kellin Quinn for the first time. He looked towards the window and remembered all the nights he snuck out to meet up with friends and party. He looked down at the navy blue sheets and remembered all the girls that laid in this bed. All the girls and Gerard.

His name set off a spark of something inside his mind. Frank smiled as he remembered all the times he had that gorgeous boy in this bed; all the times Gerard bounced against his hard cock, chasing his own orgasm. He frowned as his memories continued on. After Gerard left for college, they never saw each other again. As time went on, Frank never really thought of him again, unless he needed some sensual memory to help get off to on the tour bus. After all these years, all the girls he fucked in college and on the road, Gerard was still the only man he had ever been with. The only man he ever felt any physical attraction to want to be with.

Frank couldn't help but wonder what ever happened to Gerard. He knew he went to art school but he didn't think he ever returned. Belleville wasn't that big. The Way's lived only a few blocks away, he would have to ask his mom what the scoop was. What am I doing he thought. He really never had a conversation with Gerard before, why would he care if they moved back home. Frank shook his head and stood back up, clicking off the light and headed back upstairs.

———————————————————————————

Frank pushed an annoyingly squeaky shopping cart through the local store, armed with a shopping list from his mother. She promised to make him his favorite meal, if Frank did the grocery shopping for the week. That was absolutely an easy decision on his end, until he found himself in the pasta aisle trying to figure out what type of 'pasta' Ma was talking about.

That's when a tall, curly headed man walked by and called his name. It took Frank a moment to remember who's curly Afro and big smile it was.

"Ray!" He exclaimed. "You son of a bitch, how the hell are ya?" He said with a large smile as his arms wrapped around Ray in a tight embrace.

"I'm good" Ray grunted out. "How are you, I haven't seen you in years. Last I heard you were touring or something?"

"Yeah" Frank said, releasing his vice grip on Ray and taking a step back. "The tour was alright but too many differences of opinions."

"Oh, you don't mean..." Ray hesitated.

"Yep. We broke up. But it's fine" Frank shrugged.

"Well, at least it leaves you open for something better" Ray responded reaching out to pat Frank's shoulder.

"You're saying that to a guy who now lives with his mother" Frank chuckled. Ray laughed as well.

"Hey," Ray added, "your mother makes the best damn lasagna in the state, you should be honored to live with her".

Rays watch started beeping. "Shit" he mumbled. "Listen I gotta run but it was great running into you. Here" he said as he fished a pen out of his pocket and scribbled his number on a napkin he found in there as well. "Call me sometime, let's get coffee".

"Absolutely" Frank said, as Ray gave him a smile and walked away. He was starting to kick himself over how long he had been away from home. He invested so much into his band Pency Prep that he lost contact with basically everyone. But he was in a different place now with his life and it was time to start fixing that, starting with Ray.

———————————————————————————

Frank hadtext Ray later that night, desperate to catch up. Ray was always everyone's friend. He would know what happened to Brendon and Bob. Hell even Andy the overly zealous running back from his high school football team. Gerard. Did he want to hear what he was up to? Part of him did. Wanted to know if he made anything of himself with that art career he was chasing. Was he still tall, curvy and pale? Was he married? Maybe adopted some kids? 

Frank shook his head trying to erase those thoughts. Even if for some reason he ran into Gerard, what would he say? 'Hey thanks for all that great sex as a teenager just wanted to make sure you didn't turn into a total fuck up'. No he didn't care. He hadn't cared for the better part of the last decade why would he care now.

Ray agreed to meet with him at the downtown cafe which was perfect for Frank because it was only a four block walk. Sure he could have taken his car but the weather was beautiful today and he wanted to enjoy it. He surprisingly beat Ray there and ordered himself an iced mocha latte to cool himself off after the beating of the sun had him sweating.

Ray walked in and saw Frank immediately, smiling and waving as he made his way to the counter. He say across from Frank with a cup of what looked to be tea.

"Tea? In a coffee house?" Frank joked.

"Yeah, it's better for digestion" Ray shrugged.

"So catch me up" Frank started. "What do you do to keep a roof over your head?"

Ray's eyes lit up. "Remember Mikey Way? He runs a fairly large music label in Trenton. I go up there from time to time and record back up vocals and guitar for some of the people on his label".

Frank's mouth visibly dropped hearing that. "Woah that is so fucking cool!" He squealed. "I always knew you were a guitar God".

"I don't make much, but it's enough to keep me ... comfortable." Ray added.

"Damn, Mikey Way, the nerdy bass player. Never would have thought he would make music into a career".

"You'd be surprised" Ray said, blowing steam off the top of his cup. "Most of our friends have gone off to have pretty decent lives now".

"Oh yeah?" Frank inquired.

"Oh yeah. Mikey runs Jersey Anchor records with Pete Wenz and it's pretty large. In fact if you want to keep your music career momentum moving you should talk to them. Maybe they would sign you as a solo artist." Frank made a mental note to try and get ahold of Mikey. He never picked on Mikey much, maybe he could sweet talk him.

"Are they like ..." Frank interlaced his fingers together trying to ask if Mikey and Pete were in a relationship.

"You know, we always thought they had something going in school, but they're both married to pretty good looking woman if you ask me. Mikey has a daughter and I'm pretty sure Pete has a son."

"Well good for them. They've obviously put the rest of us to shame in the success column" Frank joked. "Who else?"

"Ah ... ok yeah Brendon got married a couple of years ago and teaches at the high school. I think he's a football coach there now as well". That made Frank laugh. Of course Brendon turned into a teacher and he decided to shoot so low he ended up at their hellhole of a school.

Ray continued. "I haven't heard much from Bob lately. Last I knew he had moved out west chasing some acting or modeling dream. None of us had the heart to tell him he was just sin-ugly" Ray laughed and Frank joined in.

"Jamia runs the florist shop that her dad owns. She got married and divorced a few years ago. She's a little odd, seems like she is desperately looking for another dude to latch too". Frank nodded. Jamia was so clingy when they were together, he definitely believed what Ray was saying now.

"Lindsey was the first artist Mikey and Pete signed and she's really taking off in her music career. I believe she goes by Lyn-Z now though. Last I heard she was in Europe touring".

"Damn" Frank said with genuine amazement. "Who would have thought Belleville would crank out so much musical talent. Alright who else?" Frank was trying to pry Gerard's update out without asking, but Ray just wasn't reading his thoughts to do that.

"Uh ... I think that's about everyone" Ray concludes, finally deciding his tea was cool enough to drink. Frank looked down at his cup and only a few moments had passed before he heard the words fly out of his mouth like word vomit.

"What about Gerard?" He looked up trying not to look too hopeful.

"Gerard ... oh Gerard! Yeah I don't hear from him much. Last I knew he had this big art show in the city and since then his art started selling for higher price tags but he doesn't come around here much. Normally it's Mikey going up to see him".

"Oh" Frank thought. "Good for him. Is he ... married? Kids?" Fuck Frank thought to himself, control your damn self.

"Not married and no kids. He's had a few boyfriends since school but nothing that's stuck. He gets pretty distant while he's creating his works so guys find it hard to deal with that" Ray added.

"Well good for him. I always knew he would make something of himself". Frank couldn't help but feel a little ashamed. Everyone had something going on and he was at home with his mom. He needed to move onto to something and needed to fast.

"Frank?" Ray said softly, pulling Frank out of his pity party. "I have something to tell you".

"What's up man?" Frank said, a little worried at where this conversation was going.

"I have testicular cancer, Frank. It's... it's not good." Frank did not expect that and he didn't know what to say. Ray must have sensed his shock so he kept talking. "I'm just telling you because I want to do as much in this life as I can. I want to live until I can't anymore. And you were always the living life in the fast lane guy, so if you think of something, let me know."

Frank understood what he was asking. Frank was always the daredevil, never afraid to try things and take risks. Ray was always reserved but now he wanted someone to push boundaries with. "Absolutely, Ray. I'm sorry you have to go through that, you're so young"

"Don't worry yourself with it, I'm past it and now just rushing to do as much as possible" Ray smiled softly.

"So, nobody else knows?" Frank asked quietly.

"No, Mikey knows. So I'm sure Pete does. And of course my parents. And my girlfriend Christa. But no body else" Ray spoke

Again Frank's mouth worked faster than his brain did and he heard himself ask "how long?"

It took a moment for Ray to understand what he was asking. But then it clicked and a sad look came over his features. Frank mentally kicked himself for even asking.

"They gave me two years. But that was also a little over a year ago. It's gotten worse. I can feel myself getting tired quicker than normal and they advised me to stop all treatments. They weren't working anyway". Frank reached his hand across the table and grabbed Ray's, squeezing and giving him a soft smile before an idea hatched in his head.

"Come one. Let's get a tattoo" Frank said with that devilish smirk.

"Really?" Ray laughed. "You think you have any skin left for that?"

"Oh I'll manage" Frank said, standing up and tossing a few bucks on the table as a tip. "Come on, I bet that old crank Lou still does 'em" and with that, Frank dragged a half hesitant half excited Ray out the door behind him.

———————————————————————————

Gerard stood in his studio, staring at a half finished canvas, absolutely hating it. He had a rather rich client contract him for a large piece that he was willing to pay handsomely for, but Gerard being his own worst critic just didn't like anything he was producing. They weren't bad. Just lacking.

"Mr Way?" A voice pulled him out of his near-temper tantrum and he turned to face his assistant.

"Yes, Billie Joe" He said with an annoying tone. Gerard hired Billie Joe a few years ago when he was desperately in need of an assistant and the girls he was hiring prior wouldn't stop coming on to him. Even after he made it clear he was gay, they wouldn't let it go. But he trusted Billie. They used to work at the coffee house together and he could be cranky and Billie wouldn't take it personally.

"It's getting late, you should probably turn in soon" he said gently. He knew better then to push his boss too hard, but he still cared about his health.

"Doesn't this look like it's missing something?" Gerard asked, completely ignoring Billie's remark.

"Come on, Gee, I'm not the artist here, how would I know what it's missing?" Billie replied.

"Passion" Gerard stayed simply. "This lacks passion". He started glancing around the room taking in other pieces he had recently done. "Look, all of these lack passion. A sparkle."

"You aren't enjoying painting anymore?" Billie asked.

"No I enjoy it but I'm not portraying passion adequately." Gerard said. "When was the last time I even experienced passion" he mumbled to himself.

"Well you broke up with Daniel last year, so I would imagine nothing since then, but your intimate life isn't really my business" Billie said quietly with a blush tinting his cheeks.

"Daniel was that long ago?" Gerard asked surprised. He didn't think that much time had passed. But in all honesty, he and Daniel weren't much on passion. Daniel was a rebound from Steven. And even Steven was a rebound from Garrett. Garrett and Gerard didn't have much passion it was just convenient.

Gerard flopped back on the small couch he had in his studio, racking his brain of the last time he had a true surge of passion. He had made it all the way back to Frank when his eyes shot open. Was what Frank and him had passion? Or just a teenage hookup that lasted far too long.

It was honestly some of the best sex he had ever had to date and coming from someone who's dude count was easily in the double digits, that was saying something. Gerard ran his fingers through his red hair and sighed.

"What does my schedule look like next week" He asked Billie.

"Well, you promised Michela you would go to her art gallery on Thursday, otherwise it's blocked off for Mr. Wilson's piece." After thinking it through for a few moments, and glancing back at the offending canvas, Gerard's decision was made.

"I'm going home next week. Back to Belleville."


	7. Chapter 7

Frank was on cloud fucking 9 while they waited for their meal. He loved getting tattoos but watching Ray squirm while getting his made Frank's pain totally worth it. Lou wasn't there, but a cute little girl with blonde hair worked on both of them and Frank's dumb ass tried hard to flirt. He couldn't help it, if he saw a pretty girl, his fuck boy just came flying out of him.

Frank settled on a simple "let love in" on his neck. Ray went with Christa's name in cursive on his wrist. When Frank asked if he really wanted to do that, Ray said "I'm dying soon and she is the love of my life". That gave Frank the greatest idea.

"Why don't you two get married?" He said excitedly.

"What?" Ray squeaked in surprise. "We've only been together a couple of years and never talked about marriage."

"How long is a couple" Frank said with a mouthful of veggie burger.

"Um" Ray hesitated. "Like six?"

"Jesus Christ, man what the hell" Frank said nearly choking on his food.

"Well just when we would have started having that conversation I got sick and the both of us only focused on that". Ray said.

"Come on, man. Christa has been through a lot, the least you can do is give her your last name" Frank replied.

"Says the guy with years of marriage experience" Ray shot back with a smile.

"I may not have been married but, I've seen ... a lot ... of marriages" Frank spoke slowly.

"You mean you broke up a lot of marriages" Ray laughed, shoving Frank playfully.

"It's not my fault that I'm hot as hell and my dick is awesome. Just ask Ger-" Frank stopped himself suddenly. He couldn't believe he was almost about to spill his secret that he hadn't even thought about for years.

"What?" Ray said, his interest clearly piqued.

"I didn't say anything" Frank brushed off.

"No you were about to say a name. What name?" Ray prodded.

"Nothing. I was just going to say - uh - Ger-Mia ... yeah Jamia". Frank's big fucking mouth once again landed him in hot water.

"I don't believe you" Ray spoke, "but clearly you don't want to talk about it so I'll leave it alone". Frank breathed a sigh of relief. Anybody else would poke and prod until he snapped but not Ray. Fuck he loved Ray.

"Let's go get drunk. Wait, can you get drunk?" Frank asked.

"Frank, I'm dying, I don't give a fuck what hell I put my liver through at this point" Ray chuckled.

"Hey! I'm trying to be sensitive, you dick" Frank joked. After finishing their meals, they both made their way to the local bar. Frank remembers so many nights getting drunk here. Once he turned 18 he befriended one of the bartenders who always served him.

It honestly took only about an hour before a voice pulled them out of their buzzed banter.

"Frank? Frank Iero?" Frank turned to see a woman about his age, with shoulder length black hair and fair skin. In his alcohol induced haze he recognized this woman as someone he knew, but just couldn't put a face to a name. After a few moments of silence she spoke again.

"It's me, Jamia". Suddenly it clicked. She looked like Jamia, how could it not be.

"Oh, hey Jamia" He slurred.

"I haven't seen you in forever" she said with a big smile on her face. She stepped forward like she wanted a hug but Frank clearly didn't reciprocate her actions. She seemed to get the hint and dropped her arms back to her sides.

"How have you been?" Jamia said with a hurt undertone.

"Oh since the last time I saw you when you pulled a fucking knife on me? Fine thanks" Frank said pointedly as he turned back around.

The night after Frank’s graduation, Jimmy Urine threw a huge graduation party. Kellin had broken up with Jamia around January, after he revealed he wasn't ever really faithful to her. After that, her desperation to get Frank back was in full force. That night at the party she found Frank sitting in the backyard alone, clearly drunk. She tried to persuade him to fuck her right then and there in the grass but he turned her down saying he wasn't interested.

The mixture of alcohol, anger, desperation and a close proximity to an outside grill that for some reason had a steak knife on it caused Jamia to snap. She put the knife up to Frank's throat as tears poured out, begging him to take her back. Frank sobered up pretty quick and honestly was afraid. After a few moments of clarity, she let her arms drop down to her lap, but in the process ended up cutting Frank's forearm, causing a moderate size gash that even required a few stitches.

Jamia was terrified and ran back into the house as Frank stumbled in looking for napkins or a towel while blood gushed out. That was the night Frank learned that Jamia was truly bat shit crazy and that he really never wanted to see her again. He even changed his phone number when the apology calls and texts started coming in. A month later he moved in with his good friend John "Hambone" in Clifton, effectively disappearing from Jamia's life for what he thought was forever.

"Oh I get it" Jamia said crossing her arms with a knowing smirk. "You're still salty about graduation night".

"You pulled a knife on me and sliced open my arm, causing a scar. Yeah you could say I'm pretty damn salty still" Frank spat.

Jamia scoffed but knew her attitude wouldn't help this situation. "It was good to see you" she said defeatedly. "Have a nice night" she added quietly as she walked away.

"Later Jams" Ray called after her.

"What the fuck?" Frank asked.

"What? I gotta be nice I don't want her to stab me too" Ray said with his hands up. They both broke into a fit of giggles and ordered another round.

———————————————————————————

Gerard's alarm woke him bright and early. He still had an hour drive ahead of him and needed to pack. It was best to start early, maybe even beat the morning rush hour traffic if he played his cards right. He called his mom to check and see if she was going to be home this week. Turns out she wasn't, but she said Gerard could stay at the house. At least he wouldn't have to cough up money for the shitty Belleville Motor Lodge.

Gerard wasn't rich. But he wasn't poor. A few years ago his art really started to take off and he was able to move out of his dump apartment he shared with two roommates, into his own place in a decent building. Besides the pretty penny he spent monthly to keep his fire engine red hair looking it's best, and his daily cup of coffee, he saved most of his money, using it only for supplies and bills.

While packing, Gerard called Mikey to see if he would be around. Turns out Mikey was coming up to the city to scout new talent. Oh well. Gerard could just be in and out and wouldn't have to see many people and he was ok with that. After looking at the clock and realizing he puttered around for almost an hour, Gerard zipped up his duffel bag and grabbed his car keys. Gerard climbed into the front seat of his black Chevy Malibu and headed towards Jersey.

———————————————————————————

Frank groaned as he rolled over, a splitting headache causing him immense pain. He and Ray went way too hard at the bar last night and because he was such a drunk slob, Frank decided to crash on Ray's living room floor. For the first few moments of reality, Frank looked around thinking he finally succeeded in some girl taking him home. That was until a familiar Afro came walking in, reminding Frank that no, he in fact did not score last night. Fuck. And he was definitely hung over. Fucking fuck.

"Hey man, I was wondering when you would join the living" Ray chuckled as he sat on the couch. "Why are you on the floor, dumbass, when there is two overstuffed couches in here?"

Frank just groaned again, not even mustering up a witty retort. He slung his arm over his eyes, willing his headache to go away or at the very least ease up a bit.

"Ah" Ray smiled. "Someone is hungover".

"Someone just isn't on their deathbed yet and trying to drink themselves into oblivion like you" Frank grunted and caused Ray to laugh again.

"You know the cure for a killer hangover. Time for coffee house" Ray spoke as he stood up, throwing Frank his jacket.

"What time is it" Frank murmured as he slowly got up and pulled on his jacket.

"I don't know, about nine?" Ray replied.

"You almost killed me with tequila shots, you better be buying my fucking coffee" Frank groaned as they made their way out to Ray's car.

It only took about ten minutes before Frank found himself nestled in the old familiar booth he loved, with a steaming cup of black coffee practically glued to his hand.

"Being back home isn't too bad, is it" Ray spoke suddenly pulling Frank back to reality.

"I suppose not. My mom cooking for me, my best friend getting drunk and getting tattoos with me, I'd say so far it's been alright".Frank caught sight of the back someone with an absolutely gorgeous body. They had a nice plump ass, and thicker thighs. Their fire engine red hair made them stand out but with a body like that, Frank didn't blame them for wanting to grab attention.

Frank hadn't been laid in the last few months and his body was feeling neglected all of a sudden. He found himself slowly undressing the stranger with his eyes as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

"The view around here as definitely improved" he joked to Ray who turned around to look. Suddenly the stranger turned around themselves, revealing their beautiful angelic pale face to Frank, with honey colored eyes that he would recognize anywhere, even after all this years.

Gerard.


	8. Chapter 8

Gerard had just pulled his car into Belleville when a familiar building grabbed his attention. So many late nights and weekends spent in that amazing coffee house. He looked at the time. A little after 9, he figured he deserved another coffee at this point. Unfortunately they didn't have drive thrus so he would have to pull his brand new car up to the building and get out.

The place was bustling but he didn't stop to look around. He figured he wouldn't know or recognize anyone anyway. He b-lined for the counter and ordered his signature black coffee in a to-go cup. The young man behind the register couldn't have been older than 17 and it made Gerard reminisce about his years spent pouring coffee and steeping tea bags here. He paid the kid and left a generous tip in the tip jar as he turned to leave.

His eyes for some reason snapped up and caught the eyes of a short man covered in tattoos with longer black hair. The look he was giving Gerard made him feel like he had two heads or something. He looked familiar but this was Belleville. Everyone was related in one way or another. He took another step towards the door until he was cut off by a tall man with a brown Afro. It took Gerard a moment to remember who he was.

"Ray fucking Toro!" Gerard yelled as he threw his arms around Ray's neck, pulling him in for a hug. "How the hell are you?"'

"Gerard Way" Ray smiles. "I haven't seen you in fucking forever. I'm good how are you? Holy shit you look great man"

"I'm good, just home briefly for some business" Gerard said glancing over to the shorter man who still had a shocked expression on his face. Ray noticed him look and motioned over to the table.

"How fucking lucky am I to run into two of my best friends growing up" Ray remarked. Gerard looked a little puzzled. Who the hell was that guy.

"Gee, you remember Frank Iero". The name sunk into Gerard's brain like a poison. How could he not see it before. Fuck Frank always looked good but he was hot as hell now. His arms and fingers were littered in tattoos. His lip ring was missing but it didn't seem to take away from his overall attractiveness.

Gerard reached over the table to shake Frank's hand. It was a sign of being polite. "Frank fucking Iero" He gritted through his teeth. He was having a mental argument with his dick who literally stirred awake and Frank's name.

"Come, sit down with us" Ray suggested.

"Oh no", Gerard began. "I don't want to impose."

"Fuck, it's no imposition at all. Frank doesn't mind, do you?" Ray looked over at Frank for confirmation.

"Uh, yeah, no I don't mind" he said scooting over to make room for Gerard at the small table.

Gerard sighed and sat down, finding his body tensing up at the close proximity of Frank. He definitely didn't want to stay now. Frank was way too hot and he was staring right at him.But they hadn't seen each other in over a decade. Feelings changed. Who knows, maybe Frank isn't a complete ass anymore and they could be, dare he say, friendly.

"So Gee," Ray spoke pulling Gerard out of his thought process. "What have you been up to?"

"Oh, uh not much. I've been painting. Selling my pieces. The usual starving artist thing" Gerard laughed awkwardly.

"Not according to Mikey" Ray interjected. "He says you're doing rather well with your art and are no where near starving".

"Well, I uh just sold a piece for $30,000" Gerard stated with a hint of pride. That was an original he did of an elderly man in a park. He found the inspiration not long after he sobered up and was spending time in Central Park.

"Holy shit Gee that's fantastic" Ray beamed.

Frank coughed awkwardly. "Yeah shit Gerard that's really cool".

"Um, thanks" Gerard said quietly while tucking a strand behind his ear. Frank smiled a little. Shy Gerard. He was cuter than Frank remembered at graduation.

"What are you working on now?" Ray inquired.

"A special order piece but I'm having trouble with it. That's why I came back to my roots, to try to find what I'm missing." Gerard sensed Ray and Frank had no clue what the fuck he was talking about, so he continued. "I'm trying to portray passion on a canvas and I'm coming up empty handed".

Ray thought for a moment before adding in "Well I bet Frank could help you with that".

"What?!" Frank and Gerard both said in unison.

"Well, Frank is a musician. Aren't all musicians passionate?"

"I suppose I'll have to see Frank play sometime" Gerard said softly, but he had no plans to ever see him play. In fact, the sooner he got out of Jersey and back to his studio, the quicker his mind would stop swimming with dirty memories of the short rebel who's name he used to scream.

"Here Frank give him your number" Ray pressed, handing over a pen from his jacket pocket. Frank picked up the coffee stained napkin from under his mug and scribbled down his digits with a shaky hand, hoping no one else noticed.

"Um thanks" Gerard said, taking the napkin and shoving it in his leather jacket pocket.

"Yeah just, like call me or whatever. I'm around". Frank stumbled over his words trying to regain his composure.

"I actually live in the city and I'm home for only a short time but when I come back I'll totally hit you up or something" Gerard said, adding his share of awkwardness to the conversation. For as smart as Ray was, he was apparently blissfully unaware of the sexual tension you could practically cut with a knife.

Gerard took the next break in the conversation as his queue to leave. "I'm sorry I have to run, I'm meeting somebody" Gerard explained while standing up. "But it was great seeing you guys, we'll have to catch up sometime when I'm back in town."

"Don't be a stranger" Ray called out as Gerard walked towards the exit.

"Bye, Gee" Frank said hoping Gerard wouldn't hear, but he did. And it sent an odd thrill up his spine. Gerard climbed into his car and threw it in reverse a lot faster then probably necessary but he wasn't lying when he said he was meeting somebody.

———————————————————————————

"Gerard Way" Ray repeated again after he left in a hurry. "I can't believe it".

"Yeah he's doing well for himself, I'm impressed" Frank added, remembering he had coffee and grimacing when he realized it had gotten cold while he was ogling Gerard.

"He looks great, I can't believe he's still single" Ray said which caused Frank to nearly have a coughing fit. "Gay dudes are far too picky if they don't see what a catch he is".

"So, why exactly did he need my number?" Frank asked, remembering that whole awkward moment.

"What better way to get in good with a record company then rekindle a friendship with the owners older brother" Ray replied.

"Or better yet you could just give me Mikey Way's fucking phone number and I could cut out the middle man"

Ray laughed. Frank was thankful Ray wasn't a sensitive person or this friendship would have been doomed from the start.

"Come on man, you better take me home before my mom thinks this date has gone on too long" Frank joked. But he was tired and had every intention of falling into his bed and sleeping the rest of the day away.

———————————————————————————

Gerard walked the halls of Belleville high school with a visitors pass pinned to his jacket lapel. It was strangely nostalgic to be back in this place. It honestly hadn't changed a bit.

As Gerard turned the corner to head towards the east wing, he bumped into a tall skinny man in a white button up shirt and black slacks.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Gerard mumbled.

"No problem ... Gerard? Gerard Way?"Gerard looked up to see Brendon Urie standing in front of him in what looked to be teachers clothes.

"Brendon?" Gerard stammered.

"Yeah. Well it's Mr. Urie here, I teach freshman literature now" Brendon said, his eyes beaming.

"No offense but I'm not going to call you Mr. Urie" Gerard giggled

"Fair enough. I hear you are doing very well for yourself" he added, trying to keep the conversation going. Dude was clearly starved to interaction with another adult.

"Yeah you could say that. That's actually why I'm here. I came to see Mrs. Richardson."

"Oh well she's in the east hall, same classroom" Brendon motioned.

"Alright well thanks Brendon and congrats I guess on becoming a teacher. That's pretty cool". Brendon's eyes lit up as Gerard continued on his way.

Gerard stood outside the same door that adorned the same plaque that read: DENISE RICHARDSON, ARTS & CRAFTS. He knocked lightly and the door was pulled open to reveal an older lady with graying hair pulled up in a bun. After all these years, though, she still had the warmest smile Gerard had ever seen.

"Gerard" she said warmly, gently wrapping her arms around his neck. He instantly reciprocated. Gerard wasn't much of a hugger but this woman was truly special.

"Hi Mrs. Richardson" Gerard said and suddenly he didn't feel like the 28 year old moderately successful artist he was. He felt like an 18 year old kid with nothing but hopes and dreams.

"Right this way, Gee" she ushered him inside the classroom. Besides newer style desks, everything else looked about the same. "I've kept your piece on my wall since you graduated".

They walked over near where her desk was situated and sure enough up on the wall was Gerard's good versus evil swirling pieces. He wanted to look at it again. This had so much passion he thought maybe seeing it would reignite his flame.

"I'm having trouble Mrs. Richardson" he found himself saying. "I ... need passion".

She looked at him like she understood what he was saying and Gerard was relieved. "This piece is full of passion" she agreed with Gerard's internal thoughts.

"How do I take the passion from this and inject it into my current pieces" he asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Well" she started, making her way to her chair. "Obviously when you painted this you had some degree of passion in your life. Find it. Harvest it. Whatever it was it fed your fire."

Gerard stared at his canvas again. He could tell it was done by a kid with very little technique, and yet, it still held more emotion then anything Gerard produced in the last few years.

After thanking Mrs. Richardson for her time, and even signing the back of the canvas at her insistence, Gerard left. He needed to be alone and think. What better way to figure out what he was missing than back in his childhood bedroom.

That room held so many memories. He only returned the first summer after college and like an idiot, hoped that maybe he and Frank could rekindle whatever weird thing they had. But after his mother dragged Gerard and Mikey to spend a few week with their grandma Elena, the first month of summer was already over. By the time he got back apparently Frank had changed his number and moved. Gerard heard about some fight with Jamia but he didn't hear much else.

Gerard remembered sitting on the floor of his room really feeling like a fool. Here he wanted to reconnect with Frank, maybe even become friends now that a whole year had passed. But Frank was long gone, and probably didn't even remember Gerard's name.

It was the first and only night that Gerard cried himself to sleep over a man. Hell even when Bert left he didn't cry. He didn't shed a tear after any other guy but yet with Frank, he felt like in a weird roundabout way, he had been rejected.

Gerard ran his fingers through his hair roughly. He refused to admit that maybe what he had with Frank was a hair more then just sex. How could it be, they never really talked. Well sure they talked but that was slinging mud on each side. They never sat down and tried to get to know each other. Even at coffee Gerard couldn't bring himself to ask Frank what he had been up to even though he was dying to know.

He knew Frank was into music but did he make it a thing. Was he successful. Did he crash and burn. Was he like Gerard and turn to drugs when he couldn't take things anymore? All these questions were swimming in his head and he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to go home, fuck this week trip home. In all honesty he got what he came for, answers. He figured he just needed a little nap, then he would start the journey off home.

———————————————————————————

Ray was a few blocks from Frank's house when realization hit him like a brick. He slammed on the car brakes so hard that if Frank wasn't buckled, his little body would have been tossed right through the windshield.

"Woah, Ray, what the fuck, are you ok?" Frank asked, concerned after the initial shock wore off.

"Why didn't you guys ever tell me?" He responded quietly.

"Tell you what? Listen, buddy, can we maybe pull off to the side of the road or something so we don't get rear ended?" Frank pleaded. Ray agreed and immediately pulled his car over to the nearest curve, shutting off the engine and turning his upper body to completely face Frank. Normally Frank would have seen something like this as an act of aggression but the look in Ray's eyes was anything but. It looked like understanding, sympathy. Maybe even amusement. "Ray..?" Frank started, trying to pull his friend out of what ever thought he was in.

"I wouldn't have told anybody, you could have trusted me" Ray said gently. He couldn't believe he was blind as a fucking bat. How could he not notice? Growing up Gerard and Frank were enemies, true. But he remembered that conversation with Gerard all those years ago where he accidentally divulged he was seeing someone. Ray made it his personal mission to try to figure out who it was but really the only one he could even come close to guessing was Frank. But Ray didn't want to believe it because they hated each other so.

The pieces really started to fall into place at the coffee shop when Frank almost said a name. The first name that popped up in Ray's mind was Gerard but Frank was so desperate to not go that direction. And when they sat next to each other it was the first time they were in the vicinity of one another and not hurling insults back and forth. Gerard was shy and Frankjust seemed speechless. He never even fully looked at Gerard after he sat down, only glancing at him through the corner of his eye.

Frank looked at him perplexed. What the fuck was Ray smoking. But as the two men stared back at one another, Frank realized what he was saying and that the jig was most definitely up.

"Ray..." Frank sighed, running his fingers through his hair again. "It really wasn't what you think".

"Well what was it?" Ray pushed. "A fling? One night stand? Drunk party hook up? A relationship?"

"No! It definitely wasn't a relationship. It started as a drunk night hook up but turned into more of a friends with benefits thing". Ray scoffed.

"I think you have to be friends before you can add in the benefits part" he laughed. "I'm just shocked. You dated woman, I didn't know you potentially swung for the other team".

"I didn't!" Frank squeaked. "I don't. I'm not like gay or bisexual or anything. I don't find men attractive. It was just Gerard. For some reason I found myself having a physical attraction to Gerard. But he moved away. And I did too. So whatever that was when we were teenagers is long gone".

"But you wouldn't object to picking up where you left off would you?" Ray replied playfully. Frank's dick had done really well around Gerard, which wasn't easy. But it was waking up to Ray's idea and that caused Frank to groan.

"Here" Ray said, pulling out another pen and an old crumpled receipt. "This is Gee's number. He's in town for a few days. Call him. Maybe have coffee. See what happens".

"Jesus man, is there like an office max in your fucking pocket or something?"

"Here" Ray said again handing the paper over to Frank.

"I don't think so" Frank said but stared long and hard at the paper like he wanted to take it, but didn't want to at the same time.

"Frank I'm dying soon. Do it for me".

"For fucks sake, Ray, you can't always use the dying friends card" Frank groaned again as he grabbed the paper and shoved it in his pocket.

"Yes I can. It works for me" Ray smiles brightly.

"Just take me home asshole" Frank grunted but Ray could hear the playfulness in his tone.


	9. Chapter 9

Gerard was jarred awake out of his nap by an annoying buzzing sound. It took a solid 7 seconds for him to realize it was his phone and it was ringing.

"Fuck" he murmured under his breath as he rolled around to try and get the phone out of the pocket of his abnormally tight jeans. Without even looking at the screen he just pressed ANSWER and mumbled a "hello" while half his face was still smooshed in his pillow.

"What's up, fucker!" He heard a familiar voice yell from the other end and it made him smile.

"Lindsey, how are you?" He tried to sound excited because honestly he hadn't heard from his friend in weeks, but he was also really fucking tired. That nap was clearly a bad idea because it made him more groggy than he was.

"I'm great! I'm in Copenhagen today actually. Figured I should check in, make sure you haven't been institutionalized or anything". Lindsey knew Gerard was putting a lot of pressure on himself over the last year and she tried to help the best she could, but when she was sent to Europe to tour it made it hard for her to check on her best friend as often as she would have liked.

"That's so fucking cool" Gerard sighed as he rolled over to stare up at the ceiling.

"So how is your piece going?" Lindsey jumped right in. She rarely beat around the bush.

"Terribly". Gerard couldn't lie to Lindsey even over the phone, she would always know. "It's lacking Linz, and I don't know how to fix it".

"Come on, Gee. You never struggle like this" Lindsey said with concern clearly in her voice.

"It's stressing me out" Gerard said as he sat up in bed. "I really ..." his voice trailed off because what he really wanted was in his past and he had grown from that part of his life.

"Gerard" Lindsey said sternly.

"I really want a line, Linz" he whispered, tears prickling his eyes.

"I know Gee. But you're stronger than this." Lindsey was there when Gerard hit rock bottom, and she practically locked herself in with him in his apartment while he sobered up. Since then she's always been scared he would get overwhelmed and turn back to cocaine.

Gerard sighed. "I just need to get out of this hellhole" he murmured.

"Whatever, your apartment is nice as shit" Lindsey protested.

"I'm not in my apartment I'm ... in ... Belleville."

Lindsey paused. "Oh my god" she started laughing. "You're back there?!"

"Yes" Gerard whimpered. He knew Lindsey hadn't been back to Jersey in years either. After she left for college her mom chased a boyfriend to California. Lindsey has friends in New York and Los Angeles, she never really needed to go back to Jersey.

"Well how fun is that" Lindsey joked.

"It sucks and smells like horse shit" Gerard replied, causing Lindsey to erupt in another fit of giggles.

"So have you run into anyone you know?" She asked.

"Um, yeah I saw Ray at the coffee house".

"Aww, Ray!" Lindsey squeaked. "How is he?"

"Uh well I think he's good. We only chatted for a minute".

"Aww man, I always liked Ray. Ok who else who else" and Gerard knew what she was asking. After all these years, all the fame and glory and money, Lindsey still held a flame for Jamia.

"No I haven't seen satan's mistress, but I did see his brother" Gerard smiled.

"Oh my god. Frank?! You saw Frank? Please tell me he got fat. Or bald, is he bald?" Lindsey blabbed. She always didn't like Frank, aside from the fact that he tormented Gerard relentlessly, he held Jamia's heart even if he didn't want it.

"Well not really fat. Just lots of tattoos. If anything he could do with a little hair cut" Gerard thought as he scanned the awkward meeting.

"Well fuck, now I owe Patrick $50" Lindsey groaned which caused Gerard to giggle. After hearing some mumbled talking, Lindsey spoke again. "Hey Gee? I'm sorry I gotta run, celebrity-ism calls. But listen call me if you need me ok? I'll be home in a few weeks. "

"Alright Linz. Love you. Good luck"

"Love you Gee. Bye!" And what that the phone call as ended and Gerard was left to his thoughts again. Gerard looked towards the small window in his basement room and realized it was turning towards night. Shit he slept most of the damn day. He wasn't surprised though. Gerard had hardly slept over the last few weeks since starting Mr Wilson's piece that he knew it would catch up with him.

With as much strength as he could muster, Gerard pulled his tired limbs off the bed and up towards the kitchen. He was too tired to leave anywhere, but seriously starving. Mom being, well mom, stopped stocking the pantry and fridge after Mikey left for school so there was literally bottled water , a box of uncooked spaghetti and a can of raviolis.

Fuck it Gerard thought. He wasn't fancy. He pulled out a sauce pan, started the stove top and emptied the contents of the can, waiting for it to cook. After about ten minutes, it was done and he scooped himself a bowl and made his way to the living room, clicking on the tv and flipping through channels until his eyes lit up when he found an old episode of Ellen. He really couldn't think of a better way to end his evening.

———————————————————————————

The next morning, Frank stared at the crumpled piece of paper on his dresser with numbers scrawled across. Fuck he was nervous. What if he fucked up. What if it wasn't what he thought. No. He needed to man up and make the call. The man at the other end definitely wasn't going to expect it but Frank needed this.

After pacing back and forth past the dresser a few more times, and taking some deep breathes, Frank dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed the digits with shaky hands. Once it started to ring he felt like he was having a panic attack.

After about four rings, a quiet "hello" caused his stomach to leap into his chest.

"Hey, Yeah hello" Frank cleared his voice. "Can I speak to Mikey Way?"

"This is Mikey..." the voice at the other end said hesitantly.

"Um, I hope you don't mind but I got your number for Ray. Well ... stole your number from Ray technically" Frank laughed awkwardly. "Uh, sorry this is Frank. Frank Iero. And Ray says you run your own label now". Frank really didn't want to come out and ask to be on his label, he hoped Mikey would put two and two together, but as the seconds of silence ticked by, he was losing his confidence quickly.

"Frank... oh Frank!" He said like his memories all flooded back to him in a second. "Yeah how are you? I saw your band uh Pricy ... no Pency Prep a few years ago. You guys were awesome".

Frank breathed a sigh of relief. Mikey didn't yell at him or hang up on him which was a good start. "Yeah it was a good run, unfortunately just didn't last"

"Well if your band broke up then why are you calling me?" Mikey inquired. Fuck Frank was going to have to say it. Ask for it. Beg for it.

"I wanted to talk to you about ... possibly pursing ... music ... as a ... solo artist." Frank mumbled quietly.

Another silence and Frank was about ready to hang up and throw his phone at the fucking wall when Mikey spoke again. "Well I've only ever heard you in a band, so why don't you come up to the label office and audition. I'm in the city this week, but come up this afternoon. Bring your acoustic and electric guitar, and Pete and I will see what we can do with you".

Frank's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull "I - holy shit - I - thank you!"

"Just don't waste my time" Mikey said sternly. "I sign good talent so if you don't think you can stand on your own two feet without a band to fall back on, don't come".

That part caught Frank off guard. He always thought he was fucking amazing, I mean obviously. But did the general consensus think he was good?Fuck it. He was auditioning and even if he sucked he would deal with it then.

"I wouldn't have called if I didn't think I could stand on my own" Frank said meekly.

"That's what I like to hear. See you at one, I'll text you the address" and just like that, Frank was living for something again.

———————————————————————————

Gerard slept in and got a late start back toward New York. He was cranky. There was such a thing as too much sleep and Gerard felt like he was wasting precious time at this point. He crossed over the state line a little after noon and decided to call Mikey, remembering he was in the city for the week.

"Hey Gee" Mikey said.

"Hi Mikes, how is everything going?"

"It's going great!" Mikey exclaimed. "Pete and I have been hitting up small shows and finding a lot of great potential." Mikey always had a great ear for stuff like that. Gerard enjoyed music but could never hear different elements or note changes. Mikey once told him that art was to Gerard as music was to Mikey and it seemed to make a little more sense to him.

"I'm coming back to town today, let's get lunch?" Gerard asked.

"Oh sorry Gee, I've got a bunch of potential artists coming into the office for auditions. But why don't you come here. We'll order in something and you can find inspiration in the music".

Gerard used to love sketching to music. He would let the tunes flood his mind and his hand just executed what it wanted. It had been years and he thought that was perfect. Ray mentioned Frank being a passionate artist but Gerard was sure everyone Mikey met was passionate.

"Sounds good, I'll head over there now" and with that, Gerard hung up.

Frank. Fuck. He had actually gone almost 15 hours without thinking about the tattooed siren. Granted most of those hours he was asleep but still. He felt kind of bad, blowing Frank off like that but what the hell. They weren't friends. And after this little hiccup with his art, he probably wouldn't see him for another ten years.

Once in the city limits, Gerard turned his car towards the decent sized office Mikey kept here. Gerard asked all the time why Mikey didn't headquarter out of the city. It was in a large music scene and just made sense. But Mikey always pointed out that you couldn't call it Jersey Anchor records if it was in New York.

Gerard pulled into the parking lot and passed several vans and trucks of people hauling musical equipment out. Jesus Mikey and Pete really had an afternoon ahead of them. Gerard kept driving right up to the building where a handful of RESERVED parking spots were placed, with one left open for Gerard. Grabbing one of the many sketchbooks and pencil cases he owned and kept in his car, he locked the doors and headed for the entrance, ready to be blown away by music and passion.


	10. Chapter 10

To say Frank was nervous was an understatement. When he arrived, there was at least a dozen other bands or artists that he assumed were all auditioning for a spot on the label. After he told the receptionist his name, she actually escorted him away from the group and into a separate room.

She was a little older, probably in her mid to late 30's. She had short brown hair and black glasses, but a warm welcoming smile.

"As you can see, Mr Way and Mr Wentz are rather busy today, but they've made a special exception for you" she started.

The room he was ushered into was very modern looking. White walls, white leather couch, and a large mirror with lights around it. Beneath was a white marble counter with a row of bottled water and a basket of fruit.

"Make yourself comfortable and I'll get you when they're ready" the woman smiled. "By the way, my name is Alice" and with that, she disappeared, softly closing the door behind her.

Frank gently set his guitar cases and amp on the floor near the door and looked at himself in the mirror. Fuck he even looked nervous. "Come on" he grumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

After picking apart his flaws for a few minutes, he decided to use his time in this private room wisely and sat across the white plush carpet as he dug out his guitars and began tuning them.

———————————————————————————

Alice had sent Gerard to third floor when he arrived,where Mikey and Pete were. It was full of smaller offices and one large one with glass doors and huge windows. It had a white tile floor with two directors style chairs towards the middle and a black leather couch off to the side. White tables lined the room with water bottles, fruit trays, veggie trays, you name it. On the other side of the room was a platform about six inches off the ground that was the stage. It had plug ins for amps and microphones with stands.

Mikey tried his best to keep these auditions as low key as possible while still seeing the stage presence and potential of each band and artist. He wanted them to be comfortable, but productive. Pushing open the large glass door with a anchor vinyl on the front, Gerard saw Mikey and Pete sitting in their respective chairs, going over notes and ideas in notebooks they were holding. They hadn't noticed Gerard until he cleared his throat to catch their attention.

"Gee!" Mikey beamed, shoving his paperwork over to Pete while he climbed off his chair and practically sprinted towards his older brother.

Hi Mike" Gerard smiled back, letting Mikey grab him in a side hug. The brothers hadn't seen each other in almost six months due to their schedules but they never seemed to let it bother them. Pete has collected the paperwork and notebooks, leaving them on his chair has he made his way over to the Way brothers during their reunion.

"Hey Gerard" Pete smiled as he reached out to shake his hand. "How have you been?"

"I'm great, how is Mowglie?" Gerard asked. Pete was always impressed that Gerard remembered his sons name but honestly, it was a fucking weird name that he could never forget.

"He's good. Things with Ashlee are a little so so but whichever" Pete shrugged. Pete and Ashlee had been having issues for sometime so Gerard wasn't surprised by his response.

"Well friends" Mikey interrupted. "Let's find some talent." And with that, the business partners returned to their chairs and Gerard took his place on the couch, flopping down ungracefully.

The first three bands to come through were alright, but Gerard could tell Mikey wasn't sold. After they would leave, Mikey and Pete would begin an argument about if the band was worth a chance. Pete thought everyone was awesome. A fucking farmer playing a harmonica would be signed by Pete without question. Mikey was much more complex. He tried to think about the short and long term repercussions of each act. How long had the band been together, who mainly wrote the music and lyrics. Mikey didn't want to sign someone who would break up or replace members on a whim.

Gerard had sketched a few little doodles during the performances but nothing caught his interest so he could see why Mikey was so resistant. The next three people were solo artists, a girl who he honestly couldn't remember her name, a guy trying to be gay who clearly wasn't, and a dude who clearly thought he was better on guitar than he was. All three were again no's from Mikey.

"This is bullshit" Pete moaned. "I know we can't sign every person but fuck, Mikes, you pick everyone apart."

A devilish grin spread across Mikey's face just then. "I thought you would say that" he started as he signaled Alice to bring in the next person. "But I found us a ringer. Someone who sings and plays and has stage presence. I brought him in for an audition only for formality, but trust me, he's legit".

Pete was very interested now and fidgeted in his chair while he waited. Gerard was interested as well. Who had Mikey already seen and kept a secret from Pete.

The person who walked in however was not what they expected. Pete was stunned into silence and Gerard's eyes were comically large and his mouth agape as the pencil he was twirling in his fingers fell to his lap.

———————————————————————————

Frank had sat in that little room for almost an hour, but he wasn't the least bit bored. As a matter of fact, he took his acoustic guitar and started strumming. The strumming turned to notes and he had started finding words to match. But he didn't bring paper. Fuck. He played over and over again, trying to imprint the melody and lyrics into his brain until he could find paper and a pencil to write everything down.

He was so engulfed in his writing process that he didn't hear the light rapping at the door. Alice opened it to find Frank sitting cross legged on the floor, singing and playing.

"Mr. Iero?" She said softly. "They're ready for you." Oh shit. Frank stood up, slinging his electric guitar across his back and holding his acoustic guitar in his hand. Now or never. This was it. Either he was going to fly or fall flat on his face and even though he was terrified, he loved it all the same.

Alice pushed open the glass door and Frank was met with the wide smile of Mikey Way. He had aged well. Ridding himself of the odd hair style and thick glasses, he looked great.

"Frank" Mikey beamed. Putting his arm around Frank's shoulder, Mikey ushered him inside the room. "You remember Pete Wentz". Pete waved awkwardly. "And the couch potato back there is my brother Gerard".

But Gerard didn't respond. Why was he here? How did Frank even know about Mikey's label. Must have been Ray. Shit. He really fucking hoped this wasn't Ray's doing, concocting some weird scheme to shove Frank in Gerard's path.

"Um, I'm sorry this is weird to ask at the start of an audition but can I have a piece of paper and something to write with?" Frank asked shyly.

Mikey looked taken aback but complied anyway, walking back over to his chair and flipping his notebook to a clean page, handing to over to Frank, along with his pen. Frank lowered himself to the ground, setting his guitar gently next to him as he immediately started scribbling lyrics and chords.

Gerard watched in fascination at what he was doing. He honestly looked like a kindergartener with his legs crossed and a notebook in his lap like that, yet it was oddly hypnotic. Frank tucked a thick strand of black hair behind his ear, his lip caught between his teeth as he he was completely engulfed in writing. After a few minutes he finally sat back, handing the pen back out to Mikey.

"Burst of inspiration?" Mikey questioned.

"Well, sort of. While sitting downstairs I just started strumming and hit something" Frank shrugged.

"Would you play it for us? What you just wrote" Pete added.

"Uh sure, yeah". Frank was nervous again. This song was literally less than an hour old. It was going to make or break this deal. While sitting cross legged on the floor, he removed his electric guitar from his back and positioned his acoustic guitar across his lap. Strumming his nearly memorized chords, he began.

"I'm not sure what they said ..." he started singing.

Gerard was entranced. Watching his eyes close with passion while he sang, his fingers moving rhythmically across his guitar. Suddenly Gerard was a little less angry with Ray and a little more impressed. The lyrics were beautiful and he almost couldn't believe this was strung together in such a short amount of time.

As Frank finished his song, he slowly opened his eyes to survey the room. Only a few moments of silence passed before Mikey leaned forward with a warm smile on his face.

"Welcome to Jersey Anchor Records".

———————————————————————————

"Let's go to the bar and celebrate!" Hayley yelled. Along with Frank, her band Paramore was also signed by Mikey and Pete that afternoon.

"Hell yes!" Frank agreed. The group of excited musicians and producers started gathering together and Gerard figured it was his time to leave.

"Come join us, Gee" Mikey spoke suddenly, noticing Gerard's slow deliberate movements towards the exit.

"Oh no you guys celebrate, I really should get back to my studio and work".

"Bull fucking shit, Way. Grab your shit and come with us. Don't be such a baby" Frank said with a smile on his face. He didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but he was happy. Hell, happy didn't even do it justice. And he kind of maybe still wanted to spend time with Gerard. With a defeated sigh, Gerard followed the group out the door and up the block to Mikey and Pete's go to bar.

It wasn't more than ten minutes later that everyone held a shot of tequila in their hands and Mikey raised his up high. "Here is to Paramore and Frank, who are going to be fucking huge and make us a ton of fucking money!" After cheers and whoops from the group, they all downed their alcohol.

Two hours had gone by and Frank was feeling great. His euphoria from being signed along with about five shots of vodka had him flying. Gerard was only three drinks in, but he hadn't drank in years so he was definitely feeling it. From the groups table, he watched that jackass Frank hit heavily on some poor blonde girl in the bar. For some reason, Gerard could feel the searing heat of jealousy bubble in his stomach.

The girl wasn't shooting down his drunk ass, she was giggling and fluttering her eye lashes and Frank was just eating it all up. The moment Frank leaned in to whisper something in her ear, Gerard was done. He couldn't watch this shit show anymore.

Gerard made his way to the bathroom to have some silence and be alone. Looking into the mirror hung over the grimy sink, he tried to get ahold of himself. Why is he feeling like this. He honestly shouldn't care what or who Frank did but for some reason, it bothered him.

He nearly jumped a foot when the bathroom door was opened with a loud bang. In stumbled Frank looking pretty rough for the wear. This was fucking senior year all over again Gerard thought.

"Oh hey Gee" Frank slurred. "Why are you hiding in the men's room? Only place you can see penis?" He joked.

"What happened to your little girlfriend" Gerard replied, ignoring the obvious gay slam that Frank was famous for.

"Oh, uh her boyfriend walked in" Frank said, pointing behind him. Gerard scoffed. Frank never changed and he never would.

"I was just leaving actually" Gerard murmured as he tried to walk past a very drunk Frank. He shouldn't have been surprised when a tattooed hand wrapped around Gerard's bicep and pulled him towards the wall, throwing him against it like he used to all those years ago.

Frank's gaze was intense as he looked into Gerard's eyes. "I knew what my life was, and here you come walking back in into it with your fucking red hair and gorgeous body and now I cant even think straight" **(a/n pun intended)** he spoke lowly, lust dripping from each word. Before Gerard could even manage a response, Frank pulled him forward by the front of his shirt and attached their lips.

Gerard moaned lightly into it at first. He missed intimacy in any form, but he was also substantially less drunk than Frank and the reality of what they were doing hit him at full force only moments later. Gerard shoved Frank off of him, probably a little rougher than necessary but he needed to get away.

"I can't do this" he whimpered as he bolted for the bathroom door, hearing Frank call out his name. Gerard didn't stop at the table with his brother, he practically sprinted towards the exit. Once outside in the chilly air, he walked up half a block and ducked into an ally to call a cab home. He didn't want Frank to run after him, but couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when he realized Frank wasn't going to run after him anyway. Typical Frank, didn't give a fuck about anyone but his fucking self.


	11. Chapter 11

Frank groaned as his cell phone vibrated on the wooden night stand next to him, signaling an incoming call. Frank got pretty drunk and Mikey figured it was best to put him up in a hotel for the night so he didn't drive home. Of course being New York, Mikey had to put him in a pretty pricy room, but he didn't mind. Frank was going to be big.

It took a lot of effort for Frank to open his eye just a sliver to find his phone next to him and he pressed ANSWER holding it up to his ear.

"Who ever this is, fuck you" he groaned.

"Hey Frankie!" Ray's vibrant voice echoed through his pounding headache.

"Again. Fuck. You." He moaned as he tried to hang up.

"Ok, ok, fuck me and all but wait because you're going to want to hear this" Ray said with a strange amount of giddiness in his voice.

"Better be fucking good" Frank mumbled. Unless someone was dying, he just didn't give a fuck right now.

"Well I proposed to Christa last night. I took your advice and figured she deserved to have a big beautiful wedding before I go". Frank smiled even in his haze.

"Good for you man, congrats but it couldn't wait until later?" Frank's raspy voice said.

"What do you mean? It's like eleven in the morning".

"Well I uh, got a little drunk ... last night. I auditioned for Mikey's label and he signed me". Frank was definitely not expecting the nearly ear piercing scream that came from his friend at the other end of the line.

"Jesus, Ray! Hangover!" Frank said.

"I'm sorry but that's fucking amazing! I - wait ... how did you set that up?" Inquired Ray.

"Funny story. I stole his number from your phone. You kept insisting I go through Gerard and I didn't feel that I needed to". Frank heard Ray laugh at the other end.

"You're lucky I like your small tattooed ass" Ray chuckled.

"Great. Like it better later" Frank groaned again as he hung up. He knew Ray wouldn't be mad and he would get the entire story from him later after some breakfast and maybe fresh air.

As Frank rolled over onto his back he started going through the memories of last night. That not great looking girl at the bar that would have been a totally easy fuck if he could close the deal before her boyfriend showed up. And Gerard stomping away like a pissed off teenager. He had to make sure Gerard was ok, but apparently his body took over and kissed him.

That kiss. It was wonderful and amazing and fantastic. Gerard's lips were sweet just like candy and his tongue was smooth as silk. He tasted different yet familiar at the same time. He wasn't expecting the harsh shove to the chest that nearly sent him landing on his ass.

"I can't do this" he heard Gerard say quietly as he practically ran out of the bathroom.

"Gerard! Wait!" Frank called but there was no way he could move as fast as Gerard was in his current state. Stepping out of the bathroom, he watched a flash of red hair slip out the door and he started towards the exit before he was stopped by Mikey.

"What's wrong with Gerard? What did you do?" Mikey demanded.

"I didn't do anything we were talking and I just kissed him and he bolted and I need to find him" Frank spoke quickly, not even realizing what he just told the moderately sober Mikey.

"Wait you kissed? Just never mind, let's go outside and see where he went". Mikey and Frank stepped out into the cold night air but Gerard was no where to be seen.

"Let's find him" Frank insisted.

"Frank, no you're drunk it's not smart to wander around the city at night like this. I'll call Gerard and make sure he gets home safely" Mikey offered as he grabbed Frank's arm and pulled him back into the bar. While he waited to pay their tab, Mikey tried to call Gerard but he didn't answer.

Mikey knew Gerard would find his way home, he always did. But he was more worried about his demons. He wasn't very confident that Gerard would be able to handle something so overwhelming. And why the fuck was he kissing Frank to begin with. Fuck.

Pete was the sober cab and Mikey booked Frank a room at a nearby hotel before they left, helping Frank check in and even walking him to the room.

"I'm such a fuck up Mikes" Frank complained.

"I'm sure you guys can work it out" Mikey said as he tried to walk down the hall while keeping Frank upright.

"We have so much history. How can we be friends? What if maybe I want to be more" Frank wondered out loud. He shouldn't have asked, Frank was in a secret spilling mood, but Mikey needed to know. He always wondered.

"What type of history?" He asked as he opened the door to the room and pulled Frank in. Frank didn't immediately respond, letting Mikey pull of his jacket and shoes and tuck him into bed. As Mikey went to leave, Frank spoke again.

"I used to fuck the shit out of your brother and it was fucking amazing" and with that, sleep overcame Frank in full force.

"Oh fuck" Frank groaned, realizing he spilled his guts to his manager and Gerard's fucking brother. He prayed Mikey would forget but chances were slim. God fucking damnit.

Frank needed to call Gerard, needed to apologize. But did he really want to? He didn't feel sorry, he had been wanting to shove his tongue down that boy's throat since the coffee house. Maybe he came on a little too strong. It worked in high school but they were adults, theoretically. Maybe he needed to tip toe into anything with Gerard.

But shit. He didn't save his number and was pretty sure his phone number was on the floor of his room somewhere. Fate must have been favoring Frank that morning because suddenly his phone started ringing again.

"Frank! How are you feeling you fucking idiot" Mikey said rather loudly.

"A little rough for the wear" Frank joked. "Um about last night..."

"Listen don't think anything of it. We were celebrating and you took it a little far but I'm not going to hold it against you" Mikey replied. Frank waited to see if he would say anything about Gerard but he didn't.

"Thanks for putting me up in a hotel room, I was definitely in no condition to drive".

"No problem, I don't need my like fifth favorite solo artist to die before he even issues his first album" Mikey said.

"Fifth?" Frank laughed.

"Well yeah. You gotta earn that top spot, baby" Mikey joked and they both laughed.

"Say, can I ask you a favor?" Frank asked sheepishly. "Can you uh, give me Gerard's number. So I can call and just check in ... make sure he got home alright last night".

"I talked to him last night and he got home safely" Mikey remarked.

"Oh. Uh, could I still maybe call? And apologize?"

"Apologize for what?" Mikey asked. Damn.

"For last night. For ... the kiss" Frank said quietly.

"Well I don't feel comfortable giving his number out to just anyone but I'll call him and maybe give him your number" Mikey offered. It wasn't what Frank wanted at all. He wanted to see Gerard before he left. Talk to him. But he didn't blame Mikey who was clearly overprotective of his brother. There must be a reason why.

"Sure. Thanks Mikes" Frank said trying not to sound too dejected. Looking around the room, Frank figured it was time to get dressed and check out before he found himself in more trouble.

———————————————————————————

"Aww a wedding" Gerard cooed. Ray called Gerard to share with him the good news and invite him to the wedding personally. Ray shared with Christa about Frank and Gerard and they both made it their mission to shove them together until they discovered how in love they really were.

"The wedding is next weekend" Ray added.

"Oh, uh wow, ok. Why the rush?" Gerard asked. He didn't know about Ray's cancer and it wasn't like he was hiding it, it was something he wanted to share with his friends personally, and face to face.

"Well we've been together a while and I think it's time. I know people usually plan that shit out but honestly our wedding will be so low key we don't need much planning time".

"Well whatever your reasoning is, I'm happy for you" Gerard smiled. "And even though it may physically kill me, I'll come back to Jersey. Because it's you".

They spoke a little longer, Ray telling him they weren't having a formal wedding party and wanted everyone to dress up in tuxes or dresses because they all meant something to him and Christa. He also casually mentioned Gerard could bring a date.

"Who the fuck would I bring" Gerard laughed.

"Oh I don't know if you have some cute dude or something I haven't met" Ray said mentally cheering at the news.

Just then a beep in Gerard's ear piece signaled an incoming call from Mikey.

"I gotta go, Mikes is calling but I'll see you next weekend. Congrats buddy" and after their quick goodbyes, Gerard switched his call to his baby brother.

"Good morning Mikey" Gerard said. "Have you talked to Ray today?"

"What? Ray? No but he's called me about four times now" Mikey added, somewhat derailed from what he called to talk about.

"Well you should call him. He's got great news" Gerard smiled softly.

"I sure will but I wanted to talk to you first. About last night".

Gerard physically tensed in the chair he was sitting in. It couldn't have been anything else besides Frank.One minute Gerard was fine and the next he was running out of the bathroom with Frank probably trailing behind.

"Gee," Mikey started "what happened."

"Nothing I was just ... done drinking and ready to go home" Gerard offered up. He knew it was a long show but he tried anyway.

"You don't run out of a bar nearly in tears because you're suddenly done drinking. And Frank ran up to me something about he needed to find you and talk to you. Just please tell me, I'm your brother I would never judge you".

Gerard sighed in defeat. Mikey wouldn't let this go and as much as Gerard didn't want to talk about, he kind of did. So for the next half hour, Gerard told Mikey everything. The high school hookups, coming home that first summer to have his heart broken, to seeing Frank in the coffee house, up to the kiss.

"Wow" was all Mikey could come up with. Yes listening to his brothers sexual escapades was beyond awkward but he asked and Gerard divulged.

"Now I just want him to go away" Gerard whimpered. "Go back to my peaceful life of art and being single. I was happy-".

"You weren't happy" Mikey interrupted. "None of the guys you dated ever made you happy and that's why you didn't keep them around. But back in high school, even though those jocks tormented you, you were seriously happy. And I always wondered what it was."

"I ... accepted it" Gerard started. "Being gay in this day in age is hard. People you like aren't gay or are just shitty in general. You're stuck with a small pool of dating options, even in this big city."

"Obviously you two still have some unfinished business. Maybe you need to just talk. Running away and avoiding obviously isn't working because you two keep being shoved into each other's lives whether you like it or not. Here, I'm going to text you his number. Call him before he leaves the city and meet up. Do this for me, Gee."

Gerard sighed again. He knew Mikey was right. But he didn't want him to be. "Alright" was all Gerard replied. And true to his word, within about 30 seconds of the phone disconnecting, a text showed up with a phone number.

Gerard had mustered enough courage as he could within those few minutes so he decided to call right away. It rang several times and Gerard thought he would get the voice mail which would discharge his efforts before a very annoyed, very winded Frank answered the phone.

"Hello?!" Frank panted.

"Uh hey Frank. It's Gerard."

"Oh hey Gee" Frank's tone instantly eased and even sounded a little hopeful.

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to get coffee. Unless you already left the city in that case -."

"I would love to get coffee" Frank admitted.

"G-great" Gerard squeaked. He honestly didn't think Frank would say yes. "Um, where are you?"

"I, uh, just checked out of a hotel near Mikey's office" Frank remarked.

"Ok ... there is a Starbucks near there, I'll meet you there in twenty" and after Frank agreed, Gerard slowly got up from his chair and started getting dressed.


	12. Chapter 12

Gerard was about having a damn near panic attack. What the fuck was he supposed to wear. Was this a date? Was it just coffee with a friend? Did he want to look good or did he want to not look good and make Frank walk away. FUCK this is some bullshit Gerard thought. He finally settled on a pair of skinny jeans, and a cut off black shirt.

He really should be working on his art, not chasing a straight guy down for a little attention. After telling Billie he would be back in a few hours, he made his way down to the street where his car was.

———————————————————————————

Frank got to Starbucks first and was having a similar mental break down. He decided to just let the conversation take control and whatever happened, happened.

Standing in line he decided to buy Gerard's coffee as well, considering they drank the same exact thing. Once he had his liquid gold in his hands, he made his way to a vacant table to wait. He had only been sitting there waiting about seven or eight minutes before a familiar black car pulled up to the building.

Gerard walked in, trying to discreetly eye the room to find Frank. He didn't want to look obvious. Once he found him, Gerard walked over shyly, trying not to blush when he saw two cups of coffee on the table.

"I figured I owed you a coffee from last night" Frank said after a few moments of silence. He slid it across the table to a blushing Gerard who whispered a 'thank you' in response.

Another stretch of silence seemed to thicken the tension more and more. Trying not to make eye contact, Gerard looked around everywhere but at Frank.

"Gee" Frank spoke softly, pulling Gerard's gaze away from wherever he was looking and back to Frank.

"I'm sorry Frank, this is just very weird. We've never really been, like, nice to each other" Gerard stated.

"I know. But no time like the present" Frank replied with a soft smile. Even though Gerard's gaze tended to wander when he was nervous, Frank's was fixed directly on the gorgeous man across from him. His little nose wrinkled a bit when he talked, his pink lips plump and just begging for Frank to reach across the table and taste them again. "About last night-" Frank began.

"Listen, don't apologize. I didn't totally hate it. It just, caught me by surprise." Gerard interrupted. Desperate to change the subject so the blush tinted on his face would subside, he mentioned Ray.

"Yeah I'm thrilled for him" Frank said. "He and Christa deserve some happiness"

"I agree" Gerard replied. "Are you going to the wedding?"

"Well I live in the same town, so probably" Frank joked. "What about you? Big shot artist coming back for a small backwoods hoedown?"

Gerard appreciated the humor, it definitely lightened the mood. "Yes, I promised Ray".

"I guess we'll see each other then" Frank grinned.

"I suppose" Gerard responded with a similar smile.

After a few more minutes of small talk, they both figured it was time to leave. Walking outside together, Frank walked Gerard to his car, giving him what he could only describe as a super awkward hug. But both men left that Starbucks with a smile on their face and a sense of relief. Maybe they could be friends. And maybe they both secretly wanted to be more.

———————————————————————————

The time flew by and it was already the evening before the wedding. Most of their friends would be coming that night, but since Frank lived the closest, he offered to help. They were going to get married in Ray's parents backyard. It was a super simple set up. They weren't overly religious people so they were just going to exchange vows and rings and kiss. Frank hated weddings so he was internally grateful that this wasn't going to be an over the top affair.

Frank even went with Ray to pick out a tux, just like he wanted. Since the couple had so many friends, they figured all the guests could dress up and be honorary groomsmen and bridesmaids. Frank settled on a black suit with a white button shirt and matching black tie. It surprisingly fit him well and he thought he looked damn good in it. But he also thought he looked damn good in sweats.

Ray wanted to have a "groomsman" dinner type event the night before, just to see all his friends again. On the day of the wedding, he was concerned that he would be too busy mingling to see them and that would make him feel guilty. The dinner was a less formal gig, so Frank settled for a black button down shirt, black skinny jeans and a red tie.

It wasn't long after Frank arrived that other guests started coming as well. Brendon and Sarah looked so happy and as much hell as Frank wanted to give him for becoming a fucking teacher at Belleville, he figured that the hazing should wait until his wife left. Bob even came back from the west coast. He didn't make it as a model (no surprise) but he was playing drums in some west coast punk band.

Mikey and Kristin came, along with Pete and a pretty miserable looking Ashlee. Patrick showed up and surprisingly to Frank, he looked great. Lindsey obviously couldn't make it because she was still on tour but apparently with the help of Mikey, she sent them an all prepaid honeymoon package to Thailand.

Frank looked at all their friends and all the changes they had seen over the last decade and felt a little ashamed. Sure he had a blast in Pency and was now signed to Mikey's label, but he had nothing else to show for it. Not a girlfriend or a kid. Not even his own apartment.

Just when he was starting to get down into his misery, a familiar red head peaked in the doorway. Frank's face broke out into a huge smile as he watched Gerard walk in, but it visibly fell when he saw what Gerard was pulling in behind him. A man. Who's fingers were intertwined with Gerard's. Frank felt like he was going to puke when he watched Gerard and the mystery man stride over to Ray.

Frank wanted to run away. Why was he so upset about this. He thought their coffee whatever went well. Gerard said he was single, so how did he scoop up this guy in a weeks time.

There was a long table set up in the garage, with enough seats for everyone to sit together. Frank ended up sitting to Ray's left while Gerard and his mystery dude sat right across from them. Fuck this was going to be a long meal.

"So who is this lovely chap" Frank heard Brendon say. What a fucking moron. You teach English to pubescent teens who only care about getting laid, you aren't fucking Shakespeare.

"This is my date for the wedding, Peter" Gerard boasted but even Frank noticed the quick eye contact Gerard had with him after he said that. "We've been dating off and on for a while now and Ray said bring a plus one so I asked him".

Ray and Christa looked at each other, disheartened. Bring a plus one meant Gerard bring Frank you fucking asshole. But it wasn't totally Gerard's fault they supposed. Ray's hand slipped under the table and patted Frank's knee quickly, letting his friend know he knew what was happening and he was sorry.

———————————————————————————

The dinner was wonderful and the group of friends were laughing and reminiscing as their significant others rolled their eyes at their stupid stories. Alcohol was served and while most people drank, Frank sustained. As badly as he wanted alcohol to take him away from the feeling of dread deep in his stomach, he didn't want to do anything stupid. Aside from the occasional comment or question directed his way, Frank hardly spoke. It was completely out of character for him but he didn't know what else to say.

As dinner finished and dessert was brought out, Frank literally thought he was going to blow up. Watching Peter grab a small bite of cheesecake and begin to feed a smiling Gerard, Frank was done. He couldn't take this one second longer. After muttering something about needing fresh air to Ray, he stood up abruptly and b lined out the side door to the backyard.

Frank dug in his pockets to find his cigarettes and lighter, lighting up a stick and breathing in heavily. As he wandered through the dark backyard he laughed a little at the irony of him needing fresh air yet turning to cigarettes. A good ways away from the party, Frank found a small cement bench perched up against a tree. It was better then sitting down in the wet grass and he sat down on the cold stone, letting his head hang down. Every few moments he would inhale more from his cigarette and watch the expelling smoke dance in the night sky before disappearing completely.

Frank put his head in his hands as he felt tears prickle his eyes. He shouldn't care about Gerard and his stupid little boyfriend, yet it felt like a flaming knife was embedded in his chest. He heard the soft patter of footsteps in the grass and knew someone had come out to follow him, but he couldn't bring himself to lift his head and see who. But he had a guess. After the person stopped a few feet in front of Frank, they waited patiently for him to say something.

With a heavy sigh and a spent cigarette butt between his fingers, Frank ran his other hand through his hair as he stood up.

"Listen, Ray I'm really sorry about that i just-." Frank stopped abruptly when he looked at the person standing in front of him. It wasn't Ray, it was Gerard. Frank really didn't want to finish that sentence now.

"You were just what" Gerard said softly. Frank scoffed and started walking back towards the party. "Wait Frank don't-." Gerard grabbed Frank's arm to stop him, only to have Frank grab the front of his shirt roughly.

"Don't touch me" he growled. The two men stood in the dark, gazes intense as they stayed in this silent stand off.

"Just talk to me" Gerard pleaded in a whispering tone. "Stop being such a fucking fuck and really talk to me".

Something in Frank snapped. "You want me to fucking talk?" He growled again. "You want to know what my fucking problem is? It's you. You play with my emotions. You're so hot and cold I swear to god your a fucking girl". Gerard wanted to rebuttal but he couldn't come up with anything so he silently pleaded for Frank to continue.

"You come back into my life and you shake everything all up then walk out again like it's a fucking game. I fucking ..." Frank's voice trailed off when it started to crack. "No. You can't do this to me anymore". Frank tried to pull himself out of Gerard's vice-like grip but was unsuccessful.

"I shook up your life?" Gerard gasped. "You fucking tormented me in high school. You teased me, called me names and then would fuck the life out of me and just fucking leave. How is that not a shake up".

"Oh fuck you, you enjoyed it just the same and you agreed to that" Frank defended.

"I did because I thought that if I let you have me that way you would eventually figure out you wanted more!" Gerard yelled. Frank was flabbergasted. He never thought Gerard wanted more and even if he knew that then, he wouldn't have been able to give that to him. When Frank was in high school he wanted Gerard's body, not him.

"You ... you never said anything" Frank said quietly.

"Because I thought you were smarter then you looked but clearly I gave you too much credit" Gerard whispered as tears slid down his cheeks.

Frank suddenly pulled Gerard in and attached their lips in a fiery pursuit for passion. Their tongues danced around as wetness dampened both of their cheeks. Frank didn't even realize his tears began to spill down in response to Gerard's.

Their tongues fought for dominance as they grabbed at each other to pull themselves that much closer. Gerard quickly pulled away, leaving both men panting.

"No" he whispered. "If you don't want all of me, then you can't have any of me" and with that he stepped away and walked back to the party leaving Frank alone in the darkness, bewildered, out of breath and more confused then when he walked out here.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning, friends.

Frank groaned as he looked at the clock on his nightstand. It was time to get up and get ready for the wedding. But he really just wanted to roll over and sleep for the next four years. After Gerard walked away last night, Frank didn't return to the party. He didn't want to ruin everyone's fun. He walked out towards his car and headed home. Frank text Ray something about being sorry for leaving and they would talk more later, and after that he pulled off his clothes and flopped into bed. His dreams were haunted with the destructively beautiful smile of Gerard.

Frank groaned again. He definitely didn't want to see Gerard again. How awkward. And his boyfriend-friend thing Peter being right there. But this day was about Ray. Well, Ray and Christa. And Frank couldn't afford to be selfish right now with Ray's days as limited as they were. With a lot of strength and a little internal pep talk, Frank rolled out of bed like a beached whale, and made his way into the shower to wash the scent of failure and body odor off of himself.

———————————————————————————

The day was absolutely perfect for an outdoor wedding. The sun shined brightly but it wasn't too warm. The backyard was absolutely breathtaking and Frank found himself lost in the beauty of it all. He was oddly jealous, wanting him to have someone like Ray has Christa. Someone to hold him, cheer him on, just to be there. But Frank didn't think he was the relationship type, that's why they always ended terribly. He could never give that much of himself to another person.

The guests started flooding in and outside the typical friends group, Ray's parents were there, and what he assumed were Christa's, his mom Linda came and so did Donna Way. The backyard would definitely be full of love and support. Frank was seated in the second row, next to Christa's best friend Megan. She was cute, but not cute enough to hit on. Across the aisle in the second row on the other side, frank watched Gerard walk in, with Peter trailing behind. Gerard wore black slacks, a black waist coat and white and black stripped tie. He looked fucking incredible. Peter and Gerard weren't holding hands and unless you were there the prior night, you wouldn't have even guessed they were together. Gerard looked tired, like he didn't sleep well that night and Frank didn't know if it was because he was up with thoughts of Frank or up with actions of Peter. That thought made him shiver.

The guests were seated fairly quickly and music started, signaling Ray to make his way down the aisle. It took him a while to get to the alter because he stopped to talk with just about everyone, shaking peoples hands and accepting hugs. Frank deciphered that most people here probably knew about his cancer, if the tears from the wedding goers were any indication.

It was Christa's turn to walk down and she looked stunning, tears glistening in her eyes and a cheek splitting smile on her face. Frank was honestly happy for them. Opposite of Ray's black tux and black tie, Christa wore a beautiful flowy ivory gown that was curved and fitted in all the right places. She carried a small bouquet of white peonies and pink roses. Just like Ray indicated, the ceremony went quickly, with their vows bringing a tear to Frank's eye.

"Christa," Ray cleared his throat and continued. "You are my everything. You make me happier than anything I've ever experienced. You make me laugh when I'm sad, you hold me when I'm scared, you're with me through thick and thin. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and even after I am gone, I want you to have beautiful memories of us together to keep you warm at night. I love you more than life itself, Christa. I'm only strong because I have you in my corner". While discreetly wiping a tear from his eye, Frank turned slightly to see Gerard doing the same and it made Frank smile slightly.

"Ray" Christa began, bringing Frank's attention back to the happy couple. "When I met you so long ago, I never thought you would be my greatest adventure. We've been through good times and bad, but I've always had you by my side. Whether it's the jokes that make me laugh, or the music that you play that fills our home, or even your guilty pleasure of watching the Bachelor with me" She chuckled lightly and most of the guests followed in kind. "After everything that has happened, I wouldn't imagine endearing this crazy life with anyone else. I love you Ray". With that, rings were swapped, a fancy cliche kiss made the crowd cheer loudly, and they were done.

"Well that was just lovely" the girl next to him, Megan said.

"I agree" Frank responded.

Immediately following the ceremony was a cocktail hour where Frank got to know Megan pretty well. She grew up with Christa in Florida and shared the slight crush she had on her friend in middle school. Frank was immediately nervous around Megan, but for some reason he didn't get a tone that she was flirting or coming onto him at all. Megan explained that she was pansexual and while she didn't have a gender that she favored over the other, she could only find herself catching feelings for people she knew very well.

Frank breathed a sigh of relief. He could actually have a conversation with a woman that wasn't laced with sexual tension.

"What are you attracted to?" She asked when she noticed his attention be pulled to another table where Gerard and Peter sat with Mikey, Kristin and Pete.

"I always thought I was straight but I did ... experiment in high school".

"So, you're still questioning?" She asked gently.

"I don't even know if I am anymore." Frank sighed.

"Well tell me about your past hook ups" Megan insisted.

"There is a lot of vagina in that equation" Frank chuckled. "And one man".

"Are you pansexual as well?" She asked.

"I don't even really know what that means" Frank replied.

"It means you don't discriminate or favor one gender or the other. When you fall, you fall hard". Was Frank in love with Gerard. Fuck, that was all he fucking needed at this point. Frank thought long and hard over what she said and it made total sense. He was only pulled out of his thoughts when Ray and Christa walked over.

"Aww you're so beautiful" Megan cooed as she hugged Christa gently. "You too Ray, you look dashing" and she moved her embrace to him.

"Congrats hon" Frank said as he leaned over to wrap his arms around Christa's tiny frame. He turned to shake Ray's hand "look at our Raymundo, all grown up and getting married" Frank joked.

Ray shoved him a little and laughed. As the ladies went off on a little discussion about flowers, Ray took his moment to talk to Frank.

"What happened last night" he said quietly.

"Just a moment of weakness" Frank replied.

"You two have got to be two of the dumbest idiots that walk this planet" Ray laughed. Frank looked at him with a confused scowl.

"Gerard wasn't the same when he walked back in the garage last night and he left not long after you, his little boy toy trailing behind. Listen, he likes you, you like him. To hell with the rest of it. Be happy before your hour glass runs out of sand."

Ray was right. He literally spent years avoiding this obvious attraction to Gerard and he needed to get his feelings out there. If at the very least, for his own peace of mind. The two friends shared a knowing glance, and Ray then dragged Christa to the next table to chat.

After cocktail hour, the guests then moved inside for dinner. Frank took a seat next to Megan who he was really growing to like, and Gerard and Peter sat a few tables away. Frank and Megan joked and laughed the entire time and he honestly felt a deep bond forming with this girl. One of those kindred spirit things. He could never see himself dating Megan, but he could see them getting tattoos and critiquing music together.

Frank was interrupted from his laughter my what he literally thought was the voice of the devil.

"Hi Frank" Jamia said with a small smile. Frank wanted to tell her off but honestly he didn't have the energy. All this back and forth with Gerard was exhausting.

"Hi Jamia" his said simply.

"Can I sit here?" She asked, motioning to the chair on his other side. Frank just shrugged. "Listen I'm sorry about high school. I know I was fucking crazy then but my love for you was crazy. I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I hope we can be friends."

Frank wanted her to leave so he just agreed. "Sure. Whatever."

"Well I can see that you're busy so I'll just talk to you later" Jamia said as she got up and walked away.

"She's cute" Megan noted.

"Yeah she's fucking nuts though" Frank remarked.

"The cute ones always are" Megan laughed. She started telling Frank some story about a crazy ex girlfriend of hers but Frank found his gaze slowly finding Gerard. He was tense and Peter looked like he was trying so hard to keep his attention. Frank laughed a little. That poor kid had no clue that Gerard just wasn't feeling him.

"Want to dance?" Megan asked excitedly. Frank grabbed her arm and pulled her on the dance floor where they both replicated the dance to Whip It by Silento perfectly. Frank hadn't laughed with such intensity in months. Megan was fun and she kept his mind off Gerard. A slow song came on and frank and Megan started making their way off the dance floor to make room for the couples when someone touched his arm gently.

"May I have this dance?" Gerard asked sheepishly. Normally frank would say no. His mom was here, all his friends. But Ray's words rang in his head. He needed to live his life. Nodding quickly, a smile wiped across Gerard's face as he grabbed Frank's hand and guided him back to the dance floor, wrapping his arms around his neck. Frank followed in kind and held Gerard's hips as they moved slowly to the music.

"I'm sorry. Again. About last night" Frank started. He wasn't sure why he was apologizing but the silence was killing him.

"Stop saying that" Gerard smiled. "You aren't sorry anyway".

"Yeah, your right" Frank laughed a little. He looked over Gerard's shoulder to see Peter sitting looking envious of Frank slow dancing with this angel in front of him. Just to push his buttons, Frank moved his hands from Gerard's waist to the small of his backs pulling them closer.

The song ended but was immediately replaced by another slow song and Frank was pretty sure it was Ray's doing. This time there were more people on the dance floor giving Frank the perfect chance to pull Gerard away. With a devilish smirk, he grabbed Gerard's hand and let him away to a dark hall way.

Gerard didn't fight it and the moment they were in the dark hall, Gerard had him pushed up against a wall, moving his lips to the scorpion on Frank's neck, causing him to let out a quiet moan.

"N-not here" Frank whispered, grabbing Gerard's hand again and let him down the hall to where he remembered the bulk of empty bedrooms were. Finding one, he pulled Gerard it and closed the door softly, locking it behind him. There Gerard was again, pushing him against the door, kissing and sucking on his lips.

"This is so familiar" Frank chuckled quietly as his hands moved down to grab Gerard's ass roughly. "I bet your boyfriend out there is jealous".

"He isn't my boyfriend" Gerard ground out. "I brought him here to make you jealous. I'm not stupid, I know he only wants me for my money".

"You're such a bitch" Frank laughed again, swapping places and throwing Gerard up against the door where his body was just pinned. Dominance. Sweet sweet dominance.

"You know" Gerard panted as Frank's lips caressed his neck and his fingers worked furiously on Gerard's shirt, "out of all the men I've ever been with, you are the only one I've ever bottomed for."

Frank removed his lips from Gerard's neck as he continued removing his shirt. "I thought I told you not to be a whore in college" he said heavily.

"You said you weren't going to say that because I would anyway" Gerard moaned as Frank freed him from his shirt.

"Out of all the people I've been with, you've been the only man" Frank whispered into his ear, the hot breath causing Gerard to shiver.

Frank could see Gerard start to shift uncomfortably but it was time to share with what was in his heart.

"I want you. I want all of you. I love you Gerard" those words set off a fire in the room between the two men. One moment they were up against the door, the next Frank had tossed Gerard onto the queen size bed in the room.

Their lips never disconnected once as the both shimmied out of their pants and boxers, leaving them naked and vulnerable for the other. Using the element of surprise, Gerard pushed Frank so his back was on the bed, as Gerard straddled his hips.Leaning over to the end table, Gerard rooted around looking for lube only to come up empty handed.

"Fuck" Frank whispered. As desperate as he was to feel Gerard around him, he didn't want to hurt him.

"I have an idea" Gerard said as he scooted his body downward until he was face to face with Frank's very erect member. With no more waiting, he took Frank into his mouth, all the way to the back of his throat. The action caused Frank's hips to twitch upward as a loud moan escaped his lips.

Gerard was on a fucking mission, producing more saliva than the average human could probably produce. Just as Frank was losing himself in the feeling of Gerard's gorgeous mouth around his cock, he pulled off with a wet pop.

Before he could protest, Gerard had scampered back up his body, positioning Frank's dick with his entrance and going down all in one smooth motion.

"Fuck!" Gerard practically screamed at the feeling of being so fucking full. His hole trembling around Frank causing him to release his own sounds of desperation.

After a few moments to adjust, Gerard started up a fast rhythm, causing Frank's eyes to roll to the back of his head. Both men were so orgasm deprived that they knew they wouldn't last long and after a few short minutes of bliss, Frank could feel the coiling in his stomach.

"F-Frank, please" Gerard moaned and Frank knew exactly what he wanted. Removing one of his hands from Gerard's hips, he grabbed his dick and started stroking with lightening speed, causing Gerard's movements to get sloppy and his moans to grow in volumn.

In reality they should be quiet. There was an entire house full of people who could potentially hear them. But Frank didn't give a fuck at that moment. His only focus was the gorgeous glistening man above him. With an arch of his back, and a long drawn out groan, Gerard released all over Frank's hand and stomach. The tightening around his cock was all Frank could handle and he nearly screamed in pleasure as he spilled into the man above him.

Both of them rode out the waves of pleasure together until Gerard just couldn't stay upright and pulled Frank out of him, flopping down onto the bed next to him. The several minutes it took for them to catch their breath, they laid together in a comfortable silence.

Frank rolled over to look at Gerard, as he scooted their bodies closer. He never really noticed before but Gerard's post sex glow was beautiful. His red hair stuck to his forehead, his lips swollen and pink. Frank wished desperately he knew how to draw or paint because this is the picture he would create.

"Did you mean that" Gerard whispered with his eyes tightly closed.

Frank smiled as he brought his hand up to cup Gerard's cheek, his thumb sliding lovingly over his cheekbone.

"It's the only thing I'm sure of". Gerard's eyes opened wide showing hope that Frank wasn't lying and when his features didn't change, Gerard laid his head on Frank's chest and wrapped his arms around his stomach, sleep coming to claim them both.

For the very first time, Gerard knew that when he woke up Frank would still be in his arms, and he never felt more content with his life then he did at that moment, in that bed, with the man he was certain he loved


	14. Chapter 14

"Oh my god!" A voice yelled, pulling both men out of their slumber. In the midst of their tryst, they didn't even cover themselves up so whoever just walked in saw way more than they bargained for. It was Gerard who spoke first.

"Mikey! What the actual fuck" he yelled while grabbing for a blanket or really anything to maintain the little dignity he had left. "Have you never heard of knocking?"

"Are you fucking kidding me Gerard?! We've been knocking for ten fucking minutes!"

When Frank finally opened his eyes, he saw a very red and honestly scared looking Mikey in the doorway, and a red slightly embarrassed but slightly proud Ray, right behind him. It was morning, time to own up to last night.

"Fuck" Frank grumbled as he reached for his boxers. Gerard had successfully crawled under the blanket and probably wished he could just disappear.

"Alright Frank, what happened?" Ray asked.

"Uh ... well ..." Frank looked back between him and Gerard.

"Oh god I don't want to know" Mikey groaned. "Just get dressed and come downstairs" and with that, both Mikey and Ray walked away.

"I thought you locked the door" Gerard whined, hidden under the blanket.

"I did. I guess Ray's parents have a skeleton key." Frank climbed back into bed, poking around the blanket and giggling until he found Gerard, pulling him into his lap.

"What are we going to tell them?" Gerard asked quietly. Frank sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I told you how I felt last night, Gee. It's up to you what happens next." 

Gerard thought a few moments before cupping Frank's cheek with his hand. "I feel the same way Frank I'm just really scared. I want you, but I want to take it slow".

Frank understood. He always jumped in to relationships but maybe he needed to take it slow for once. Frank reached up and grabbed Gerard's hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Then we'll go as slow as you need" and Frank kissed his palm. With that, both men stood up and began to get dressed, to go face their mortified and probably scarred friends.

———————————————————————————

The two men walked into the living room to be met with Ray, Mikey, Christa and Pete. Gerard instantly felt like they were on trial, but Frank was too tired to give a fuck.

"So." Ray spoke, but didn't continue because he wanted Frank or Gerard to start talking. After several moments of silence, Frank cut it.

"Gerard and I had sex" he stated bluntly. Christa and Pete looked shocked, Mikey and Gerard looked like they were going to die of embarrassment and Ray just looked confused.

"What does that mean?" Ray asked. Frank and Gerard looked at each other before continuing.

"We're not together" Frank began, "but we're taking it slow and seeing where things go."

"Well as long as I don't have to walk in and see that anymore" Mikey wrinkled his nose, "I don't care what you idiots do".

"Wait... what happened to Peter?" Gerard remembered.

"We kind of figured you guys were ... busy. So we sent him back to your hotel room and covered for you." Christa chimed in.

"Shit" Gerard groaned.

"Who fucking cares" Frank said. "He was just a twink".

"I have to at least take him home" Gerard responded.He didn't have feelings for Peter in the slightest but he wasn't a total worthless human being.

After breakfast, and a few stolen kisses in the doorway, Frank and Gerard agreed to see each other the next weekend. Gerard was going to check out of their hotel room and take Peter home then he promised to call Frank that night. This taking it slow thing was making Frank itchy but he wanted Gerard to be happy. If he had to wait a year, as hard as that would be, he would at least try


	15. Chapter 15

~One Month Later~

To say this had been the greatest month in Frank's life, would be an understatement. He had recorded his entire first album and was waiting for a drop date. Every weekend he drove up to see Gerard and the two were getting very close. Ray and Christa had returned from their honeymoon in Thailand and Frank frequented their home at least one night a week for a good meal.

Gerard had also been doing well. Aside from working hard on Mr. Wilson's piece, he did several small pieces that were selling almost as quickly as he could make them. One night while slaving away on his large canvas, Billie mentioned that it looked a lot like Frank playing guitar and it made sense. When Gerard thought passion, Frank's sweet smile came into his mind.

He was surprised to see how well his piece was coming along, another few weeks and it would be finished. It was a guitar player with explosions of color in all directions. Billie always commented on how much he liked Gerard's art but this took Billie's breath away.

That weekend Frank wasn't able to come up to see Gerard because he would be working on cover art for his album late into the night but Gerard decided that he would go down to surprise him. He just didn't know what he was about to be surprised with.

—————

Ray loved having his friends over the night before the wedding and started having gatherings frequently. Obviously not everyone could attend every single one, but Frank was always there.

He got to the party a little late but was missing Gerard so he decided to just get drunk and pass out until he could FaceTime Gerard tomorrow. Within an hour of him being there, he was buzzed and felt great.

"Iero!" Brendon shouted. "Come take more shots with us!"Frank should have tapped out. He should have known his limit but he didn't and as another hour passed he could hardly stand after all those shots.

Frank murmured something about needing to sleep it off and stumbled away from the party to Ray and Christa's guest room. Their home wasn't nearly as big as his parents, but it was still lovely and had one extra guest room that Frank took advantage of whenever he needed to.

He kicked his jeans off and flopped on the bed, his head swimming and his stomach churning. He prayed he wouldn't be sick tonight. He heard the door open softly and close, and the bed dipped from another persons weight.

"You just don't know when to say when do you" a voice chuckled above him as the person straddled his waist. He instantly grabbed the strangers hips out of habit while using every ounce of strength he possessed to open his eyes. His soft smile quickly turned to a frown and he was almost certain he was going to throw up when he saw who lingered above him.

It wasn't Gerard. It was Jamia.

"What the fuck-" Frank started to speak before he was cut off by Jamia crashing her lips into his. Frank started shaking his head vigorously, trying to detach her lips from his.

When she finally did let go, she sat back up and pulled her shirt off, exposing her bra as her skirt was hiked up to her hips, so she could comfortably straddle Frank.

"No" he started again. "I don't want you, I love Gerard." Jamia was surprised. They didn't make a big announcement about their dating so Jamia hadn't heard Frank was with Gerard.

"You can't love him, you aren't gay" she laughed as she reached back down to bite his earlobe. Frank reached his hands back up to her waist to start pushing her off when the door was opened again. He wouldn't have recognized the persons face in his drunken haze if it wasn't for the fire engine red hair.

"Frank..." Gerard whispered. He stood there a moment longer before turning and running out down the hall.

"No wait, Gerard" Frank tried to yell as he wiggled his body out from under Jamia.

It took several minutes to gain his composure but he started off down the hallway after his boyfriend. Frank had to stop every few feet to avoid from falling over but he finally made it out into the main room, scanning every person for the red haired beauty, but he wasn't there.

"Frank!" Ray grabbed him before he fell over.

"Ray! We're is Gerard, I need to find him".

"He took off. What happened?"Oh god Frank needed to fix this. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know" Ray stammered "maybe he went back home or to Mikey's."

"I need to go to him, I need to explain..."

"Frank, no offense but you are in no condition to go anywhere. Listen let's get you back to bed and you can call him in the morning" Ray offered. Frank knew he was right but he didn't want him to be. He wanted to fix this now.

Ray took Frank to his room while Christa kicked Jamia out, after Frank told Ray a little of what Gerard had walked in on. The minute Frank's head hit the pillow, he passed out.

—————

Gerard quite literally ran to his car. He couldn't believe what he just saw. He was never worried about Frank cheating on him but there he was laying down mostly naked with a half naked Jamia straddling his lap. What else could it have been.

He couldn't hardly breathe, the minute he climbed into his car, the flood doors opened and tears poured down his face. Gerard was falling in love with that short little guitarist. Fuck he was such a moron. How could he not see that this was high school all over again. Frank was getting what he wanted and leaving.

Gerard needed to go home. He needed to break something or fuck something or anything. Times like this he would turn to cocaine but in this part of Jersey there was no way he could get his hands on it without Mikey or Pete finding out. He could drive back to the city for a score. He knew all the corners the dealers hung out on. But no, he promised Lindsey. He needed to stay clean for her. As Gerard drove the hour drive home, he couldn't help but notice Frank didn't try to call him once.

Instead of going back to his apartment, he went to his studio. He was scared of his apartment right now, because it's where he got high. A lot. But his studio was safe. Turning on the light he saw the large piece on the wall, drying. Storming over to it Gerard looked over the very obvious portrait he did of Frank. It took every bone in his body not to break it. The only thing stopping him was the amount of time and energy he put into it. While staring up at his canvas, Gerard collapsed to the ground, crying.

He was so fucking stupid, believing Frank would be anything but a scumbag. Even though the ground was cold, Gerard was exhausted and cried himself to sleep in the glow of his art.

———————————————————————————

The next morning, Frank had been calling Gerard for two hours and there was no answer. He was hungover but it was more important to talk to Gerard than it was to nurse his pounding head. Walking into the kitchen where Ray and Christa were, he lowered his phone from his ear, hearing Gerard's answering machine for the 15th time that morning.

"Leave it up to me to fuck up the greatest thing in my life" Frank pouted while he slumped down into a dining room chair. Christa poured him a glass of orange juice and stepped out, giving Ray a knowing glance.

"You didn't fuck it up. That shit with Jamia wasn't your fault. You just need to tell him" Ray said, leaving over and resting his hand on top of his friends.

"Then why won't he answer his phone. Of course he blames me" Frank said as his ears started watering.

"Do you want me to try and call him?" Ray asked.

"No. I need to fix it myself. I just don't know how".

"Think about it" Ray said. "How would you want to be spoken to if you were Gerard." Frank's mind was made up then.

"I need to go to New York".

———————————————————————————

Gerard woke to a blanket around his small shivering frame. He would have wondered who would have done that but he knew Billie must be in. Sitting up he winced at his pounding head.

"I wondered when you would come to" Billie said quietly, bringing a bottle of water to his boss.

"Thanks" Gerard replied. Today was the day that Mr Wilson was going to receive his canvas and Gerard was already nervous.

"He's going to love it, Gee!" Gerard remembered Frank saying. This was a $250,000 piece and if Mr. Wilson didn't like it Gerard didn't know what he would do.

"Want to talk about it?" Billie interrupted his reverie.

"Not really" Gerard mumbled. "Just me being stupid. As usual". Billie gave him a concerned look, thinking he was talking about his drug use.

"No, no Billie I'm sober. Just stupid with my heart". Gerard wanted to pout the entire week away, but he couldn't. "Help me pack this canvas up Billie" he said quietly as he stood up and draped the blanket over the couch in his studio.

Gerard and Billie both nearly jumped a foot when loud rapping started at the door.

"Gerard!" Frank yelled out. "Please Gerard please answer. I need to talk to you".

Billie and Gerard looked at each other.

"Do you want me to answer, Gee?" Billie said quietly. Gerard just shook his head. More knocking ensued.

"Please Gerard, fuck, it wasn't what it looked like I promise you. I love you I would never ... please!" Frank's voice started cracking as he slid his back down the door and crumpled to the floor. He couldn't lose Gerard, he needed him.

"I fucking love you" Frank cried out as he started to weep quietly. It was the muffled ringing of his cell phone that pulled him out of his pity party.

"Hello?" He sniffled.

"Frank!" Christa gasped from the other end. "You need to come quick, it's Ray!"Frank's heart dropped. In the chaos of the last few months, it was easy to forget that his friend was so sick.

"I'm coming right now" Frank panicked as he got up off the floor with shaky legs. Not now he thought, he can't do all of this at one time. He ran from Gerard's studio and back to his car to return to Jersey as soon as possible. The entire car ride he prayed that Ray was ok. Christa didn't say much on the phone but she was nearly hysterical.

"Please hold on Ray" Frank whispered as a light rain started dancing across his windshield.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry to do this 😭 brace for impact

Gerard heard Frank leave in a quick fashion and he didn't understand why. But he didn't have much time to dwell on it because he needed to get this canvas to Mr Wilson in an hour. With ease, Gerard and Billie packed up the canvas and headed out, not saying much more than necessary.

Once pulled up to Mr Wilson's mansion, they tag teamed removing the art work and bringing it into his large lush living room. Gerard was way past nervous. What if he hated it. What if he refuses to accept any piece from Gerard after this.

Just then, Mr and Mrs Wilson walked in. They were an elderly couple. Mr Wilson worked his whole life on wall street and now the couple could finally enjoy their retirement together.

"Gerard" He said with a warm smile. "I've been looking forward to this for weeks."

"I've spent many countless hours on this but I think you'll enjoy it" Gerard said in a shaky voice. Just then he pulled the thin sheet off of the canvas, revealing its sight to Mr Wilson. A few moments of silence had Gerard panicking before a gasp came from Mrs Wilson.

"Gerard! It's breathtaking!" She exclaimed. "I can't believe you made this, it's beautiful!" Gerard breathed an audible sigh of relief.

"Gerard you are truly talented" Mr Wilson beamed. He then instructed his maids to take the canvas and put it on the wall where a large space had been cleared.

"Stay for tea and coffee?" Mrs Wilson begged and honestly, how could Gerard say no. They huddled around a small breakfast nook as they asked Gerard questions about his creative process and his personal life. When he revealed there was trouble with his boyfriend, Mr and Mrs Wilson looked at each other knowingly.

"Gerard" Mr Wilson began, "if you had a relationship that didn't have bumps and bruises a long the way, it wouldn't be a relationship."

"What do you mean?" Gerard asked.

"Mrs Wilson and I have been together almost 50 years-"

"But not all of those years were great" Mrs Wilson chimed in. "But if you love that boy, I strongly believe love can conquer all".

Gerard thought long and hard about what the couple was saying to him and they had a point. As upset as Frank made him, Gerard was in love. Could they work it out? As Billie drove him back to his apartment, Gerard went over every single moment in their relationship, because he needed to decide if it was worth it.

—————

Frank sprinted into the hospital, nearly slamming into a poor nurse.

"Ray Toro's room please" He asked the desk nurse who looked less than enthused at his entrance.

"Third floor, room 268" and with that Frank took off again towards the steps because fuck waiting for the elevator. Once he reached the hall with Ray's room, he saw Christa standing there in tears.

"Oh god, Christa, is he..." Frank couldn't say.

"He isn't doing well but he's still with us" she said through her tears. Frank breathed out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. "He's waiting for you" she added.

He slipped into the room quietly, to see Ray in bed. Tears started streaming down his cheeks as he got closer. Ray was pale, sickly so, and hooked up to a ton of machines. There was a chair close to Ray's bed and Frank sat down, reaching out and taking his friends hand. The gentle touch caused Ray to stir awake.

"Ray" Frank whispered. "What happened. You looked fine this morning".

"I didn't want to say anything but my time is drawing closer. I've been throwing up every day and getting weaker. I'm pretty sure I'll be bed ridden until the end now" he said trying to smile but failing.

"Ray, why didn't you say anything?"

"Say what?" Ray asked. "I'm already dying I just didn't want to stress out more people that necessary. Which reminds me, did you fix things with Gerard?"

Frank smiled. "With everything going on and your still concerned about my life?" He laughed bitterly.

"Because you still have a life to live" Ray smiled.

"He didn't answer and I don't know what else to do" Frank whispered.

"You do. Just be patient, be persistent. I know Gerard, he'll come around."

Frank laid his head on the bed next to Ray as they both slowly drifted off into a small nap.

—————

Gerard rushed in with Mikey, eyeing the hospital doors wildly looking for someone they knew. Down the quiet hall, Frank and Christa sat huddled on a pair of chairs, leaning on each other in sheer exhaustion. Christa noticed the Way brother approaching and got up.

"Where is he" Mikey asked in a shaky tone. Christa was so spent she could only point to the door. Frank looked at Gerard during this exchange but he couldn't bring himself to beg or even get up from his chair. Both the brothers walked into Ray's room, closing the door softly behind them.

"Ray" Mikey sobbed.

"I'm sorry Mikes, I didn't want to worry you". Mikey was one of the first to know but he was a busy man and Ray hated being a burden.

"What about me Ray? I had no clue you were sick" Gerard choked out. "Besides Mikey you're the only person to always accept me as I was. I don't want to lose you". Ray felt guilty. Mikey and Frank had a warning this would happen but Gerard was completely blind sighted.

"I'm sorry Gee. I wanted to tell you but not over the phone. The only times I've seen you was my wedding and no offense but I didn't want to dampen Christa's day". Gerard felt insanely guilty at that. Once again Ray always tried and Gerard only sometimes tried.

"Is this it?" Gerard asked weakly. Mikey clutched his jacket sleeve tightly because he wanted to ask the same question but didn't know how to form words at that moment.

"Yes" was all Ray said. "But Gerard? Listen to Frank. He fucks up and makes shitty choices but his heart is always in the right place. And for the last few months his heart has belonged to you. Don't give up on him."Gerard could only nod furiously.

"Mikey, you be the best mother fucking music producer you can be. Don't stop when you're on such a roll". Mikey nodded just like Gerard, the lump in his throat threatening to spill out into chaos.

Frank and Christa came in then, and the group of friends sat around sharing stories and trying to lighten the situation as much as possible. But within a few hours, Ray started to lose his fight with consciousness and must of known death was coming for him. Reaching out for both Christa and Frank, he took each of their hands.

"I love you Christa. I've only ever loved you". His eyes slowly slid shut and the grip of his hands loosened substantially. The heart monitor continued to beep, signaling that Ray was still technically alive, but he was gone.

It took another 6 hours before Ray's breathing started to stutter. A few more minutes passed before the ominous beep of the heart monitor confirmed that Ray was in fact, gone. Frank held Christa as she wept and Mikey and Gerard clutched each other through their own tears. The greatest man who kept everyone together had left them behind.

From the time they arrived until several hours after his death, no one left his room, not even to eat.


	17. Chapter 17

Ray's funeral was beautiful, just like him. Frank and Gerard still hadn't talked but they were both shell shocked from Ray's seemingly sudden passing. All was not right in the world and Frank didn't know how to process it.

After the funeral brunch, Frank decided to walk home from Ray's parents house. He lived about twelve blocks away but he could use the time to himself. That was until a gentle rain began falling. Frank was so numb he didn't hardly notice. Half way home, the rain picked up and started to pour. Frank knew his shitty immune system wouldn't fare well in this weather but he couldn't find himself to care much more then that.

It took a few moments to realize a black car had slowed down and was following him along the sidewalk.

"Frank!" Gerard yelled. Frank frozen in place and looked over to see Gerard with his tie undone and his hair a red mess on his head. "Get in you crazy bastard".

Frank thought for a moment before slunking towards Gerard's car, opening the door and climbing in. The interior was all leather and he instantly felt guilty for his sopping wet attire. Gerard must have sensed what he was thinking because he responded to the unspoken apology.

"Don't worry about the interior, it gets detailed monthly".

Frank leaned against the passenger door as Gerard drove him the rest of the way to his moms house. Once he pulled in the driveway, he threw his car in park and turned off the engine.

"Thanks for the lift" Frank shrugged. "You didn't have to".

"It's not a problem, really. Can I come in? So we can talk?" Gerard asked shyly. Frank shrugged again and started to climb out.

Once inside Gerard sat on Franks bed as he went to shower and put on some dry clothes. Gerard took in the musky room around him and smiled. So many memories. So many great memories. Frank suddenly shut off the water in the attached bathroom and a few minutes later, came walking out in a ratty t-shirt and sweats. He joined Gerard on the bed but didn't say anything, hell he hardly looked up from the carpet.

"Frank, I want to apologize. For that night at Ray's. What I saw was pretty disturbing, but Christa told me what happened" Gerard started. Frank still didn't respond so Gerard continued.

"I'm also sorry about ignoring you. You drove all the way to New York for me to ignore you". Still no response from Frank.

"Frank" Gerard spoke softly, gently touching Frank's forearm but he still didn't react. "Please talk to me".

Gerard was getting frustrated with Frank on auto pilot but he tried not to let it spill over. Frank just buried his best friend, it was expected. Gerard stood up and started pacing the floor trying to figure out how to pull Frank out of his shell. He finally stopped and knelt in front of Frank, trying to meet his gaze.

"Frankie" Gerard whispered, lifting his chin to look him in the eye. Frank's beautiful eyes were swollen and red and he had fresh tear tracks. It broke his heart. "I don't want to lose you" he spoke softly. "I still want to try. Please let me try".

Frank stared at him for a few long moments before he surprised Gerard and spoke.

"I love you Gerard" he spoke, his voice raspy from limited use. "But I need some space. I need time. I'm sorry" and he looked back down at the floor. Gerard's heart sank. He didn't want to give Frank up but he remembered telling him that he wanted to take things slow. Frank was wonderful letting him take his time with a relationship. He needed to give Frank that same curtesy.

"Would you like me to leave you alone?" Gerard asked gently, secretly hoping Frank would say no. He wanted to stay.

"If you don't mind" Frank responded, breaking Gerard's heart a little more.

"Ok" he whispered, helping tuck Frank into bed. Gerard hesitated for a moment but thought if this was the last time he would be this close to Frank, he didn't want to just leave. Gerard bent over and left a soft kiss on Frank's forehead. "I love you Frankie, call me if you need me". Frank's eyes were long closed and Gerard wasn't even sure he would hear him but he spoke anyway. After leaving a glass of water by Frank's nightstand, he grabbed his coat and walked out.

He didn't want to leave. Gerard wanted to curl up and hold Frank all night. But Frank asked him to leave, and as hard as it would be, Gerard respected that. He just prayed Frank would call him soon.

Gerard climbed into his car just as the rain started to ease up and the sky started to grow dark. He turned his headlights towards New York, leaving his heart with the short tattooed man with an attitude problem back in Jersey


	18. Epilogue

~Three Years Later~

Frank groaned as his alarm clock started blaring. He still hated that god awful thing but today was a big day. Still he figured he could use a few more minutes of sleep. That was until his stretching was blocked by the soft body of the most beautiful girl he had ever met. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled his nose into the back of her neck.

"Daddy, stop it" she giggled as she tried to pull away. "It tickles!" Frank opened his eyes to see his beautiful daughter, Bandit, smiling at him.

"No, daddy needs a little more sleep, baby. Come on and cuddle with me" Frank said, cuddling back under the blanket and closing his eyes.

"Frank!" He heard a voice call out.

"Oh no B, we're busted" he said and Bandit giggled.

"Frank are you fucking kidding me?!" Gerard said. "Get your lazy ass out of bed!" 

Frank peaked over the edge of the blanket to see his husband standing in the doorway, with their one year old son, Miles, perched on his hip.

"Never!" Frank yelled and Bandit laughed as they burrowed back under the covers. Suddenly, Bandit was yanked from Frank's grasp from an unseen force as she giggled.

"Take your baby brother into the kitchen. Daddy's been bad and he's going to get spanked" Gerard said.

"Is that a promise?" Frank murmured and he knew Gerard had a smirk that he didn't have to see to know was on his face.

"Uh oh" Bandit whispered, legitimately concerned that her father was going to be punished like she was when she snuck cookies or stayed up past her bedtime.

Once Bandit walked Miles out of the room, Gerard jumped into the bed, trapping Frank under the blanket while he straddled his lap.

"No fair, Gee!" Frank whined as he fought against the blanket constricting him to the bed. Gerard just smirked.

"Are you going to get up, or am I going to have to drag you out of here" Gerard asked with the smirk still present on his face.

"I was getting up ... eventually" Frank stated, trying not to let Gerard know how much he was enjoying this moment in time.

Dropping his playful tone, Gerard spoke again "but for real, Frank, we can't be late" and he climbed off. Frank whined in protest but pulled his tired limbs off the bed anyway.

"I know, I know" he murmured as he stood to stretch, but Gerard couldn't pass up this opportunity to leave a very audible smack on Frank's right ass cheek through his flannel pajama pants.

"Ow what the fuck?" Frank yelped in surprise.

"I told Bandit you were getting spanked. I don't want to be seen as a liar" Gerard smirked again.

Frank jumped in the shower and got dressed fairly quickly. As he walked down the long hall in their home, he couldn't help but stop and admire all the photographs that adorned on their walls.

There was a small Polaroid of him and Gerard's very first date, way back before Ray passed away. They had ice cream in Central Park. There was also a picture of them together from their first date after their little break, when they went to see the Statue of Liberty.

It took Frank almost six months to come around. Gerard waited but was losing faith that Frank would ever want him. Frank swore Ray came to him in a dream and said if he didn't snap out of it that Gerard would walk away. It was ironically that same night that Gerard was at an art gallery and a man had given Gerard his phone number after some brief flirting. First thing the next morning Frank called and Gerard answered on the second ring.

There was a very large photo from their wedding day, as well as several smaller photos. Six months after they started dating again, they decided to take the plunge. Not long after that, the opportunity to adopt four year old Bandit came along. Just when they got settled in with her, their surrogate announced she was pregnant and then came Miles.

Frank ran his fingers over another photo of him, Gerard, Lindsey and Megan. At Ray's funeral, Lindsay and Megan met and started formally dating a few weeks later.With both grooms blessings, Megan proposed to Lindsey at the wedding. Unlike Frank and Gerard, though, they were taking their time planning, but Frank didn't put it past them to fuck with everyone and get eloped on a whim one day.

Things in Frank's life were just about perfect. His first album topped the charts and his second one was also a huge hit. He felt guilty for leaving Gerard and the kids to tour but Gerard never once complained. He never wanted to stifle Frank's music career.

Gerard was also doing very well for himself. Apparently Mrs. Wilson has quite a bit of pull in her life and had Gerard's piece featured in an international art magazine. After that, the offers and orders started pouring in and he loved making prints and originals. You could probably guess what his most requested print was though; the passionate guitar player.

With all their success, and money never being an issue, Frank and Gerard felt like they needed to give back. So they decided to open a music non profit for underprivileged youth. It gave kids the chance to experience music and art that they wouldn't otherwise normally get. In honor of their friend, they named it the Ray Toro Center for Creative Arts.

That's why today was so important. They were opening up a third location in Belleville. The first two were in New York City, but Frank couldn't wait to get a location opened in Jersey.

Even life for Christa had changed. Frank, Gerard, Mikey and Pete all made it their mission to take care of her and keep tabs on her. Apparently Christa had a secret of her own that she kept from everybody; she was pregnant. Five months after burying Ray, she gave birth to a handsome baby boy whom she named Ray Toro Jr.

As Frank helped herd the kids out towards their car, he stopped short, grabbing Gerard's hand and pulling back into him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"I love you more than life itself, Gerard Iero-Way" Frank whispered as they pressed their foreheads together.

"And to think this all started over me sucking your dick in high school" Gerard joked, but Frank could still see the heavy blush on his cheeks. Every time Frank called him by his full married name, Gerard blushed.

"Thanks for ruining the fucking moment, asshole" Frank laughed as he pushed Gerard away a little. Gerard pulled Frank back into him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I love you more Frank Anthony Iero-Way" he whispered and the two shared a sweet soft kiss.

"Ew!" Bandit squealed. "Daddies are smooching again, Miles don't look!" She exclaimed as she covered the eyes of her babbling, completely unaware baby brother.

Their fairytale was strange, but they wouldn't have had it any other way. Two lost souls with two different paths found each other in the dark. Sometimes the person you least expect, ends up being the one you need the most.


End file.
